Not Your Average Mama

The World better Not End in 2012 Because I'm Going to Finally Have a Clean House!

2012-01-06T04:18:00.000-08:00

I didn't make a resolution list this year. The number one item on the list is always "Get fit" or "Lose weight" and right now that is a slow battle thanks to certain medical aspects of my current state. I'm going to be hitting the gym regularly and cooking healthy meals with whole ingredients, but I'm going to try to stress less about my outward appearance for the time being. Once Anna is in school in the Fall and I can get a normal amount of sleep, I will be pushing myself as hard as I can to reflect on the outside how I feel on the inside.

Until that time comes, I'm going to work on other appearance-related tasks. I have started the not-so-easy task of deep cleaning every corner of our house. I have been on my hands and knees scrubbing baseboards with a toothbrush, and they have never been whiter. School is starting back up in two weeks and I won't have time to do a decent round of spring cleaning, so I'm trying to get it all done now so I can just maintain it with light cleaning each week.

Aside from those, I don't really have "resolutions" to speak of. Late in 2011 I learned (again) that being family has nothing to do with sharing DNA, but rather how we treat one another. I'm trying to surround myself with positive people and remove the negative ones from my life. I'm going to try to carry that through this year and really take the time to decide if someone has a healthy impact on me or not.

Mostly I just want to get all parts of my life organized so I can begin bettering them in any way I can. My camera is being upgraded this month (yay!) and I can begin moving forward with my photography business.

Best of luck to you in 2012! I hope to be writing her a lot more often!

San Diego - Day #2

2011-12-30T22:11:00.000-08:00

I know I'm super late in getting this posted. I had several posts written and ready to go and just never got around to coming back and publishing them. So here I go, ready to do a massive update of the blog...

Instead of posting my original, long descriptions of every little thing we did on our trip, I will just link to my Yelp reviews of the places we did go:

South Beach Bar and Grille
Albie's Beef Inn
Travelodge
Lighthouse Ice Cream and Yogurt
Roberto's Taco Shop
Beach Sweets
La Jolla Brew House
Pizza Port

Obviously San Diego zoo was amazing. Our last day in San Diego was spent at Torrey Pines Golf Course (absolutely gorgeous!) at the San Diego Beer Week Chefs Celebration. It's a day that brings together some of the best chefs in the city and pairs them with local breweries to create small plates of deliciousness. There were limited tickets and we were lucky to have purchased them when we did. It was an amazing day surrounded by beautiful scenery and people. Oh, and this happened:

That would be myself with Zane Lamprey, host of Three Sheets. Basically, he goes around the world getting drunk and telling us what the best places to do so in each city are. Nobody else I was with would go say hello, so I did whilst asking a complete stranger to take a photo of me doing so.

All in all, it was a weekend worth paying for. I told Sergej he now has two years to plan and execute an amazing trip for my 30th birthday to show me how much he appreciates the weekend of awesome he experienced for his 31st! I'll let you know if I am disappointed or not when 2014 rolls around!

San Diego - Day #1

2011-11-20T01:33:00.000-08:00

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! As always, I'm a busy lady and haven't made the time to blog that I should. Last weekend was very blog-worthy, though, so it deserves a recap.

For Sergej's birthday I surprised him with a trip to San Diego. My friend Laura also surprised her boyfriend with the trip. He and Sergej have birthdays just two weeks apart, so several months ago we booked the trip and started planning. I'm going to recap the trip and all the amazing food we ate in separate posts, because we ate that much food!

We left Denver early Friday morning, November 11th (and I could never thank my grandmother enough for watching Anna while we were gone.) We got to San Diego and retrieved our rental car close to lunch time. Since it was too early to check into our hotel, we headed to Mission Beach to stretch our toes in the sand and seek out some cheap eats. We found Roberto's Taco Shop, a taco shack right at the entrance to Mission Beach. Perfect! I can never eat enough tacos. I could literally eat a taco every day of my life and never be tired of them. Sergej and I both enjoyed fish taco platters and I can't describe how good they were. This is the type of food that's good to recharge in the middle of a day running around, or to end out a night of drinking. You know you crave greasy, hole-in-the-wall goodness after a few drinks! And for about $6, I was impressed. Apparently they are open 24 hours, which means it's a good thing I live nowhere close!

After lunch, we cruised over to La Jolla because I refuse to visit San Diego without seeing the sea lions and harbor seals doing their thing. There is a beach in La Jolla called Children's Pool Beach. A sea wall was built to protect children from strong waves and currents, but sea lions and seals figured out that the sea wall also makes a great wave-free beach to lounge on and catch up on predator-free sleep. There are always people protesting use of the beach by humans and they put up signs that trick tourists into thinking they're not allowed on the beach. You're absolutely allowed on the beach, but it's best to keep a polite distance between yourself and the wildlife, especially during breeding season. I'm an animal lover, but it's my opinion that the sea lions are well aware that humans are around and just don't care. We didn't go down on the beach this visit, opting instead to get our viewing in from the sea wall. However, I have gone down on the beach to respectfully view the sea life and I would do it again any day, protestors or not. I recommend at least walking by and taking in the view. There aren't many places that you can still get up close and personal with such amazing animals. If you wish, there is always someone selling "Save the Whales" and "Save the Beach" shirts as well. Take one home with you! (I didn't.)

One of the lazy seals at Children's Pool Beach.

Coastline just south of Children's Pool Beach, La Jolla

After we got our critter and beach fix, we wandered around La Jolla for a bit and grabbed a beer at La Jolla Brew House. We arrived at the end of San Diego Beer Week and most of the restaurants and breweries were featuring new and rare beers. To be honest, the service at La Jolla Brew House was terrible. It took us 10 or 15 minutes to get a round of beers, and there were maybe three or four other tables in the entire establishment. Once our waitress finally returned with our beer, she told us that one of the kegs had to be changed. But then it took another 10 minutes or so for her to close out our tab. The women's bathroom was nothing to brag about, with a complete lack of toilet paper and hand towels. Still, the beer was delicious and I got the sense that it would be a great place to hang out in the evenings on the patio near the fire table. I tried the Bear Republic Racer X, a pale ale that comes in a little strong at 9%. Being partial to pale ales, I have to say it was awesome! Ironically, they were featuring a few beers from Colorado's own Avery and Great Divide brewers. The four of us all tried a local brew, though. Duh.

After lunch, the beach, and a brew, we finally headed to our hotel to check in. We stayed at the Travelodge in Mission Valley and it was exactly what I expected it to be. It was a budget hotel without any bells and whistles, but it was comfortable for our weekend away. The few interactions I had with staff were pleasant. Aside from Sergej and I freaking out over some sort of millipede that hitched a ride on our suitcases or shoes into our room on the second day, we enjoyed our stay. We didn't take advantage of the pool, but we used the hot tub once and were glad we took the time to do so. The location may not be on the beach, but it's right off the highway with easy access to anywhere you'd need to go, plus it's a short distance from a Target which Sergej and I ran to twice thanks to some clothing mishaps!

Our first night out in San Diego was spent in Ocean Beach and our first stop was South Beach Bar & Grille. Feeling very adventurous, I ordered the table an appetizer of fried baby octopus...and then I didn't eat any of it. Apparently when you order something like fried baby octopus, you have to remember that it's going to come out looking like, well, fried baby octopus. Due to my love of octopi and all things miniature, i just couldn't stomach the thought of eating them. So, Ben and Sergej devoured most of them. (Sergej later divulged to me that he probably wouldn't have eaten them either had he not been drinking!) Our service was great, even though we were sharing the upper level with a wedding party. Our waitress was quite attentive and friendly. For dinner I ordered more tacos! I had a mahi taco and a shark taco. They weren't as good as the ones I had earlier in the day at Roberto's, but they were sufficient and the atmosphere of the restaurant was just what we needed to start the night. Plus, it's right on the beach, so it would be easy to take a sandy stroll after if we wanted. When we asked the waitress (after eating the taco) what kind of shark it was, she told us it was thresher shark. I had expected her to say something like dogfish, not a shark that is on the threatened species list! I don't even know if dogfish are edible or tasty, but I do know that there are plenty out there! Apparently not so much for all three types of thresher sharks. Hopefully, she just gave me incorrect information, but then it appears even mako sharks are listed as vulnerable and those are eaten quite frequently in the US. I will definitely be doing my research to ensure I eat responsibly next time I'm in a seafood town. Sergej had the biggest plate of fried seafood I have ever seen and had no complaints about it other than he could barely finish it. All in all, a good dinner.

After dinner, we walked to Lighthouse Ice Cream & Yogurt where Sergej, Laura and Ben all tried ice cream sandwiches made with fresh waffles! I was far too full to partake in one, but they have four flavors of waffles and seemingly endless ice cream flavors. It smelled wonderful! I dipped into Ocean Beach Sweets across the street to try some quirky chocolates. I had gone in to try a chocolate-dipped jalapeno, but decided on a few smaller things instead and shared. I bought chocolate-covered bacon, chocolate with cayenne chili pepper, and a chocolate square topped with red pepper and sea salt. The store was amazing with giant gummy bears, a HUGE gummy worm, and chocolate-covered everything!

Sergej with his waffle ice cream sandwich.

Our last stop of the night in Ocean Beach was Pizza Port. It was CROWDED! But the atmosphere was fabulous. It's definitely not like anything we have in Denver. From the moment you get within sight of the building your nose fills with the aroma of fresh pizza. We were all so full, but damn that pizza smelled good! The seating is mostly extra long picnic tables with some bar-style seating inside and out. It has a very college/frat-like feel to it, but on that night it was fun! I probably wouldn't want to always go to such a loud, hectic environment, but it suited the night and our moods. We opted to just try the beer and it took me at least ten minutes to decide what to try. There were dozens to choose from and they were featuring sour and rare beers for beer week in addition to their regular offerings. The guy I ordered from gave me a sampler before I had to commit, which was fantastic. I ended up ordering the Sour Wench Blackberry Ale from Ballast Point Brewing Company in San Diego. It isn't one of their regularly brewed beers, but is a special that was done for San Diego Beer Week. Like the name implies, it tasted very much like sour blackberries. It definitely isn't for everyone, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. I assume it isn't ordered by too many fellas!

After Pizza Port we caught a cab ride back to our hotel where we enjoyed nightcaps at an onsite piano bar called Albie's Beef Inn (the name alone makes me giggle.) We were born in the wrong decade to really belong in this establishment! The bar was full, it's just that it was full of senior citizens all looking at us as if we were aliens coming off our spaceship. The walls were covered with nude paintings, which makes for excellent conversation (especially after hearing the rumor that the two women featured in all of the paintings were the artist's daughters.) The people watching is even better. The coffee drinks are perfectly blended. My only realy complaint would be that the waitress didn't seem at all amused at our presence in what is clearly a "regulars" driven establishment. She took our orders and delivered our drinks just fine, but without anything resembling pleasantry. Still, we had fun gawking at the paintings and watching the regulars do their thing.

That first night in San Diego was the best sleep I had in weeks. I didn't have to break out my trusty ear plugs either! We were in bed early, ready to rest up for Saturday when we would be spending most of the day at the zoo. I'll post on that later!

EDIT: I found this entry from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's Marine Fisheries Service that states that the numbers of Thresher sharks off the coast of California are healthy and overfishing is not occuring. Phew!

Steve Jobs is Mocking Obama

2011-10-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

This blog is not a place I intend to voice my political opinions. As we get closer and closer to the elections next year, something might slip but I'm going to try very hard to not let that happen. And if it does, I hope to be very diplomatic in my delivery.

With that said, I am going to mention when I'm given an amazing opportunity. Yesterday, President Obama was on my college campus to address jobs and student loan concerns. Whispers spread through campus on Monday that tickets were only available for students and that they would be given away Wednesday morning. Luckily, I had the brains to ask around and verify these facts rather than trust the masses. It turns out, tickets were indeed only available to students with a valid college ID and I would have to show up early Tuesday morning to wait in line to retrieve them. So....I made Anna wake up early!

Anna, perfect child that she is, waited in line with me for two hours so I could get tickets for Sergej and I. Sergej took yesterday off work and dropped Anna off at school while I braved the snow to hold our spot in line. We got amazing seats thanks to showing up early and I was able to bring my camera along.

President Obama gave his speach in the Auraria Events Center, which is essentially the basketball court. He spoke a little of jobs, but mostly addressed new laws taking effect next year that will provide some relief to students that have to take out loans to pay for their college education (ahem, ME.)

Here is a photo I snapped during the speech:

Pretty great, eh? As much as I enjoyed the speech and the energy that filled the gymnasium, the strongest commentary I have from the day is for what is going on in this photo:

I get that we are a digital society and if I were that close to the president I would probably have my camera and/or phone up to take a photo, too. That isn't a problem for me. The problem I have is with the lady (and others like her) that is standing directly in front of the president. Her phone is in his face and she is snapping a photo instead of shaking his hand and saying hello in the very brief moment she had a chance to. I watched Obama during his exit and he moved right along the line, shaking hands and saying hello, but never really pausing because he didn't have time to. It is my opinion that when you have the opportunity to express gratitude, approval, disapproval, sadness, or whatever emotion you might feel toward any particular president, you seize that opportunity and take your photo while he is shaking the hand of the person next to you. That woman is going to show her friends the extraordinarily close-up photo she got of the president and they will indeed be impressed. But when they ask her, "What did you say to him?" she will have nothing but a blank stare to give back. At least, that is what I imagine will happen.

We are so plugged in that we forget to actually engage in what surrounds us. Put down your phone next time something incredible is happening around you. Your phone can break. It can get stolen. The photos can accidentally be deleted. But your memories will last you almost as long as your body. And if you have kids and grandkids to pass those memories down to, they'll last even longer.

This Weekend's Happy Couples

2011-10-24T14:59:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of photographing two couples (and one very cute baby) this weekend. The first portrait session took place at the Ken Caryl Ranch House in Littleton. Alicia and Justin are engaged to be married next June (I'll be shooting their wedding!) and I have had the sincere pleasure of also doing their maternity portraits and little Kennedy's newborn portraits. I have to say, I prefer outdoor sessions to indoor, studio-style shots any day of the week and this session was the perfect example of why. Look at this deliciously happy family!

It was such a beautiful day, perfect for portraits. After a trek home to freshen up and nap a little, I headed closer to downtown Denver to photograph some friends who just got married, Vaida and Donatas. We did the shoot at Washington Park, which was just teeming with people taking advantage of one of our last mild weekends of the year before winter sets in. It isn't fair that Lithuanians are so gorgeous.

Are her eyes not the most amazing you've ever seen? It's like there's a light on behind them!

Not to be left out, I did a family session last week that I never got around to sharing. The session took place at South Platte Park in Littleton. It was overcast all morning, which any photographer will tell you is a blessing when it comes to portraits, especially portrait sessions involving children that don't always look on the direction of the best light! Here are Ben, Jamie, and Alex. Such a wonderful family.

I am in full-on "promote my business" mode now. I'm eager to continue growing as a photographer. My plan is to get to a point where I can stop working part-time at night by this time next year in order to give myself the ability to focus solely on my family, my photography, and school. I love photography immensely and being able to learn something new with each new shoot. Here's to the next several months of figuring out how to make it all work for me!

Mother/Daughter Bucket List

2011-10-23T05:58:00.000-07:00

I have a great big busy day today that includes three photos shoots and a ton of editing after working all night! That might sound like insanity, but I'm actually quite excited for it! I'm glad to finally be getting more portrait work in and will post some examples from each of my shoots this week.

I've been thinking a lot about all of the things I want to experience in this lifetime and, in turn, expose Anna to. So, I've decided to start a list of the things I'd like to do with her at some point. Maybe they won't be happening soon, maybe some will happen sooner than I think, but either way I'd like to experience a lifetime of thrills with her. Here's my list so far of experiences I'd like to share, which will be going into a journal I've been writing for her since she was born (you can click on the links for more info!):

Participate in the Holi Festival in India
Visit Disneyland (I have many fond memories of Disney)
Take a volunteer trip to Africa, and a safari while we're there (obviously not until she's a teen)
Go ocean kayaking (many times and in many places I hope!)
Participate in Tomatina in Spain (another for when she's older and can handle a tomato to the face!)
Go Llama trekking!
Wake early, make tea, and watch a beachside sunrise together
Take at least one mother/daughter only international trip
Road trip across the US (and then fly back home after getting sick of the car)
Take a surfing and/or windsurfing lesson
See the Lantern Festival in Thailand
Scuba dive in the Florida Keys, a place that holds more very fond memories from my childhood
Ring in the new year in New York
Shop in Paris
Visit Ukraine. I don't know that Sergej has much interest in going, but I think it's important for her to see where her father was born.
Work together in a soup kitchen for Thanksgiving. She should know how fortunate she is.
Reach the tops of each fourteener in Colorado (mountains with summits above 14,000 feet.) She has already been to two! 51 to go!
Spend an entire weekend with no agenda, no errands to run, no chores to check off a list. Just hop in the car and let Anna point the way. Sadly, an agenda-free weekend is hard to come by these days.

I will be adding to my list as time goes on, and checking things off as I can. Most of these are going to have to wait until Anna is old enough or my bank account is big enough, but I'll be keeping the list tucked away in Anna's journal as a reminder to myself. And then one day, she'll make her own list!

What would you add to this list?

Hands

2011-10-13T05:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, on the way home from class, I sat on the light rail flipping through one of the many magazines that graces my mail box every month. I came across an ad for nail polish and was confronted with a picture of hands that looked very much like these:

Gorgeous, right? Of course, my first reaction was to compare these hands to those that were holding the magazine: my own. I looked them over and was disappointed that they look nothing like the model's hands. I fidgeted and looked around me to be sure that nobody else on the train saw what I saw. I didn't want them noticing the scars or unkempt appearance. I wasn't even wearing nail polish!

Later at the gym, when I had a loooooong hour on the elliptical to think on the subject further, I decided I should be proud of my hands. They're not pretty (I've actually never liked the appearance of them) but they've probably participated in a lot more fulfilling work than that model's hands have. With that, I began to look at my hands to interpret what they say about me. Turns out, they say a lot. And yours probably do, too.

Right now I have a burn mark across the base of my right thumb. I got it while baking cupcakes with Anna for her school's bake sale to benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation. My hand hit one of the racks upon retrieving the delicious strawberry cupcakes from the oven. There are also faint, dark stains on both hands, the result of staining a wooden foot stool I made. My left thumb has a scar that bubbles out slightly from an accident that involved sleepy, pregnant me in the kitchen with a knife at 5 in the morning because I wanted to make dinner ahead in the Crock Pot. The nails aren't painted because polish typically lasts less than a day before it starts chipping off, and then I get frustrated with the chipped look and I just peel the rest away during a commute. The reasons I can't keep nail polish on are the same reasons my nails are always short. I'd rather explore and hike with my kid than worry about a perfect manicure.

As I examined my hands on the elliptical (did I mention how long that hour was?) I realized that my body, including my hands, is a testament of my life so far. It is far from perfect, but a lot of those imperfections are reminders of important events. I don't enjoy the fact that the child of mine that I love so very dearly gave me more stretch marks than should be legally allowed on one person, but I wouldn't want to lose that experience either. I'll take the scars and dirty hands in exchange for a life of "doing." I currently spend about 10-12 hours every week in the gymso that I can improve my health and, as a result, my body. I want to look and feel like a million bucks...but I'm okay keeping the less-than-perfect parts of me intact.

Perseverance

2011-10-09T05:48:00.000-07:00

"Victory belongs to the most persevering." So said Napoleon, likely while he was compensating for his stature in some way. For the past two years I have worked incredibly hard to maintain a high GPA and establish myself as a student worth investing in, a student worth having at any area university. Because of this hard work I have been invited to join Phi Theta Kappa, a nearly-100 year old honor society for two-year colleges modeled after the prestigious Phi Beta Kappa for 4-year institutions. Just yesterday I was also asked to submit an application to the Philanthropic Educational Organization for an invitation-only grant for next year to put toward my school expenses. These events have served as a reminder to me that eventually, hard work pays off. I have been foregoing social events and have hardly made time to chat with friends, but now I know that I am getting something in return for that investment.

The last couple of weeks have presented me with some disappointments with regards to my photography, but it's made me rethink what direction I truly want to take it. I want to do something that not only allows me to use my creativity and expand my portfolio, but also make a positive impact on the lives of others. It isn't going to be easy and it will take some time to work out all of the details, but with perseverance I know that this new project will be successful and fulfilling. As details get worked out and progress is made, I will reveal some of the details and ask for feedback. Until then, I hope you all have something worth persevering for!

Further Ruminations on Steve Jobs

2011-10-07T22:46:00.000-07:00

Over the past few days, the internet has been flooded with blog posts, news articles, obituaries, Facebook status updates, and tweets all devoted to the life and times of Steve Jobs. The Apple store closest to my home has indefinitely turned its Apple light off in the store front, and a few bouquets sit beneath it in a tribute to the late innovator. I came across a post on Facebook this morning that was along the lines of, "He's not Mother Teresa, stop acting as if he did great things for humanity." It wasn't in those exact words, but that was the gist of it. I have to disagree with the sentiment expressed in that post.

We each have certain strengths that allow us to make a great impact on the world. Some of us are compassionate beyond the normal scope of other human beings. Some of us are capable of making great strides in science, even when confined to a wheelchair and unable to speak without the aid of a specialized computer (Stephen Hawking, anyone?) Still others look at the world and see the beauty in it at even the smallest level, and spend their lives photographing ecosystems around the world so that Johnny down the street can open a National Geographic and understand just how diverse our humble planet is.

Steve Jobs was not a compassionate individual. He was witty and innovative, yes. He saw the world through different eyes than you or me, but he didn't save thousands of orphans throughout his lifetime. Due to his desire to remain private, he avoided making large donations to charitable organizations even though we all know how capable he was of sparing some change. Still, he changed the world. His impact on the world has been enormous and he led the way to how we communicate today. He was insightful and really knew how to be in control of his own life and the decisions he made regarding it. He steered his own ship, so to speak. He once said, "I look in the mirror every morning and ask myself, ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And when the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all lived that way?

The point is, he knew how to live his life and he could teach us all a thing or two about living ours. Life is short. We all know that, but we're so damn busy just getting by that we forget to live it. We forget to do those things that we're really good at and that truly make us happy (because those things usually go hand in hand.) I'm glad to say that as busy and crazy as life has been for me for the past few months, I wouldn't change a thing. I wake up each day and am happy to be where I'm at, doing what I'm doing.

I think the world is well aware that Steve Jobs was no Mother Teresa. However, we don't have to save the celebration of life only for those that physically help others. In a way, Steve Jobs devoted his life to others as much as Mother Teresa did. Sure, it was in a different capacity and the end results were very different, but each of them believed wholeheartedly in what they were doing. They each believed they were leaving the world a little better because they were in it. We should strive to live as they did. The world should be better off because each of us spent a little time here.

It's okay to mourn the loss of someone so bright and passionate. We should all be so lucky to live life half as passionately about something as he did. He once said, "I want to put a ding in the universe" and I want to wake up each day thinking the same way.

Steve Jobs (February 24, 1955 - October 5, 2011)

2011-10-06T04:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the world lost a great man. He was a visionary that made possible much of the technology we all use on a daily basis, but that isn't why he was so amazing. He started the leading animation studio in the world, but again, that isn't what made him so remarkable.

Steve Jobs was remarkable not for what he brought into the world through technology, but what he was able to leave in the world because of that very technology he invented. He was a man that was passionate about passion. There isn't much I can say about him that hasn't already been said, nor could I say it as eloquently I'm sure. I have watched Steve Jobs's Stanford commencement ceremony speech from 2008 several times and it always touches me. Sergej emailed it to me to watch again last night and once again it touched me. Steve Jobs had such a charisma for life that we should all be so lucky to embrace. Here is that video. Stay hungry. Stay Foolish. RIP Steve Jobs.

2011-10-01T22:07:00.000-07:00

I have so much catching up to do that as soon as I sit down to write, I just stare blankly into my computer screen before deciding I'm better off being distracted by Facebook and back-episodes of my favorite TV shows on Hulu. But that will only make me feel better for so long. The longer I wait to write, the more I'll have to catch up on. I desparately need to record my weekly "thrills" for the past few weeks before I forget completely what any of them were (this may or may not have already happened.)

I have been doing quite a bit of photography lately (hooray!) and that has taken up quite a bit of my time. I'll be shooting a wedding solo for the first time tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, but mostly I'm just thrilled. I know I can capture this very special day in a beautiful way. I will definitely post photos in a few days once the dust settles and I can sit down and get a good long look at the hundreds I am likely to take.

In the meantime, how adorable is this couple I did portraits of this past weeked?

We went to a ghost town here in Colorado called Nevadaville. It use to have 4000 residents at the turn of the 20th century, when the gold rush was still going strong here. Some of the buildings are in excellent shape and are gorgeous. Apparently there are still four or five people that live in the town, which is a bit creepy if you ask me. One of the men that lives there gives gold mining tours and gold panning trips. He was a very kind man and gave us some history lessons on the town. We will just skip over the part about the old lady that appeared out of nowhere to tell us we had to pay $25 to take a photo of a building that she apparently owned...

At the moment I am back in school on Mondays and Wednesdays. I recently was invited to join Phi Theta Kappa, an honors society fraternity. I will be sending in my application and then will officially belong to a fraternity! How exciting is that? I don't even have to live in a smelly house that throws keg parties every weekend!

Last week I enrolled Sergej and I back in a gym. My membership lapsed near the beginning of the year and my body has suffered dearly for it. I'd love to get by just on my elliptical and free weights at home, but it's just not possible with my hectic schedule. I've gained an embarassing amount of weight this year and need to get it off and keep it off. With the gym I can bring Anna along and she can play in the kids' club while I work out. And trust me, I have been taking plenty of advantage of that service. I need to fit into an adorable dress before New Year's. And then there's this wedding I'm attending in Jamaica next June that I simply cannot look frumpy in a swimsuit for! There's that whole "being healthy" thing, too. Yeah, that. Of course I want to be healthy, but looking a little more similar to Heidi Klum is great motivation too.

That's all the catching up I have time for right now! I did a wedding shoot today and am totally beat from the 5am wake-up call followed by the 12-hour (and very fun!) day. I will post photos of that soon! Have a fabulous week!

Remembrance of 9/11

2011-09-11T04:13:00.000-07:00

10 years ago today, this country witnessed what I hope will be the worst attack on its soil in my lifetime. I do not wish to ever again revisit that kind of fear, chaos, and deep sadness. It transformed our country in such a drastic way and it seems we will never be what we once were.

I was a senior in high school, walking the halls between classes in the morning, when news of the plane hitting the North Tower first came through. I heard the news from my friend, David. I was confused and thought he must have heard wrong. Jokingly, I told my friend Louay, whose brother was a pilot, to call his brother and tell him to stop flying into buildings. Then news of the South Tower came through while I was in class and I fell silent. My teacher turned on the classroom television, knowing we wouldn't be getting any work done. We sat there, glued to our seats, transfixed on the horrific scene unfolding in New York. We watched the blank faces staring up into the smoke-filled holes in the towers, the workers filing out of the buildings relieved to be alive, and then the collapse of the towers and the frantic running of thousands of New Yorkers and tourists. It was the single most terrifying day of my life. I imagine the same rings true for many Americans.

Having grown up in the United States, I'm spoiled. I was raised knowing that the USA is the greatest country on the planet. After the tragedy at Pearl Harbor, no other country would dare attack us on our soil. Attacking the United States just isn't something that's done. I didn't know what a terrorist was because the word never came up in my daily interactions. I had no idea al Qaida existed or that there were men as evil as Osama bin Laden that wished nothing more than to hurt Americans simply because they were Americans. I happily boarded planes with my mom at the gate to see me off when travelling to Florida to visit my father and grandparents. I had taken one or two trips every year from Denver to Florida since I was six years old. When I came home, my mother was always waiting the moment I stepped off the plane. She didn't have to wait in the airport's "public spaces" and I didn't have to navigate through the terminals on my own.

On September 11th, 2001 everything changed. On the cusp of adulthood, I was rudely reminded that everything I thought the world was, wasn't. I cried for people I had never met. I cried out of confusion. I cried out of fear that my brother, having just joined the army a few months prior, would be shipped off to war and I would never see him again. I wrote a poem at the time that got emailed and forwarded to thousands of people. I have since lost the poem to a series of moves and floods. I was too emotional to read it aloud, so a friend of mine read it to a group of mourners on the steps of the state capitol building as I stood by and cried, tugging at the dog tag around my neck that was inscribed with my brother's name.

Around me in the weeks and months following the attacks, I saw in the faces around me everything I felt. None of us knew what was coming or how we would pick up the pieces of the Trade Center collapse, literally and figuratively. Everyday my mother and I would turn on the evening news and watch firefighters, medics, policemen, and dogs search to find the sources of faint taps belonging to survivors trapped within the rubble. We watched and wondered where all the rubble would go after trucks started hauling it away, load after load. I began imagining what would happen if another attack happened in Denver at our World Trade Center. On September 12, 2001, Americans woke up with a deeper sense of unity. We mourned together, and drew on one another's strength, determined to find a way through an unthinkable tragedy.

The events of September 11th also had another effect on us. It caused us to view with suspicion those among us that come from the Middle East or practice Islam. I looked at my friends in their hijab headscarves and felt sad for them. Americans around the country began attacking those perceived to be Muslim and vandalized their places of worship. Glares, whispers, questions, or outright violence were felt by many Muslims that love this country as much as I do. They hurt right along with us on that tragic day. The mosque located near my neighborhood was threatened several times and today, an uproar is caused any time a mosque is under construction. 9/11 was such a powerful event, it took our rationale away. It took away our compassion and replaced it with fear, anger, and hatred. Muslim became synonymous with terrorist and that sentiment lingers.

We claim that the USA is first and foremost a Christian nation, yet we were founded by Christians, deists, and atheists alike. Visitors to our nation are greeted by the Roman goddess of freedom, even though Christianity and Paganism were in direct conflict with one another at Christianity's rise. We talk about not wanting anymore immigrants within our borders, yet not a single American would exist were it not for immigration. We are America, dammit. We WILL shelter those that need shelter, give to those that need giving, and love those that need loving.

The sense of community we all felt right after the attacks is the America I know. That sense of community is what separates us from other countries. That sense of community is for all of us. The United States was built upon diversity, compassion, love, and a desire to be the greatest nation in the world. Today, on the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks, we owe it to those who died on that day to love one another and treat our neighbors with respect, to rise above this hatred that has brewed inside some of us. I will not raise my daughter to live in fear, but rather to see the world for what it is: a place full of amazing people and places that just happens to have a few bad apples. 9/11 should never be forgotten, nor should we fail to remember that terrorist attacks are never born of peace and love. Idealistic? Maybe. But I wouldn't want to live any other way.

Taken at the memorial service help in Downtown Denver on September 15, 2001

Photo Mania!

2011-09-09T05:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not blogging nearly as much as I should be, especially in this exciting time in my life. I promise to try to rectify that! In the meantime, let's talk about my favorite subject: ME! I'm only slightly kidding!

Things are starting to fall together for myself and my dear family. Finally! I've been booking portrait sessions here and there and things are really picking up. I am shooting a wedding on October 1st and I am thrilled to death about it. Both the ceremony and the reception will be at May Farms. Anna and I will be visiting them today to have a little tour. I've been to the farm several times, but never really inside the structures. So, today I'm just going to go in and start getting a feel for how the big day is going to go.

On Sunday I'm doing a photo event at my work to celebrate Grandparents' Day. I'll be doing portraits of the seniors with their children and grandchildren and, in some cases, their great-grandchildren. It should be a good time and I'll get my name out there on business cards I'll be handing out.

My goal is to be able to supplement my income enough that by this time next year I can focus on school, Anna and photography and less on staying awake through my nights shifts. I'm definitely over this whole sleep deprivation thing. Here's to the next few months and finding out what I'm made of!

Staycation Saturday: Taste of Colorado

2011-09-04T04:41:00.000-07:00

Technically, nobody will see this until Sunday (unless they're in Hawaii, but then why would they need a Colorado Staycation guide?) I'm posting very late this evening, but I'm quite confident nobody will mind.

Every year on Labor Day weekend we enjoy a festival called Taste of Colorado. It would be more appropriate to call it "Buffet of Colorado" but let's not get picky with semantics. Basically, we turn Capitol Hill into a glutton fest with vendors from all over the state converging to hawk food, drink, art, clothing, and trinkets. Any of the non-edible items can be purchased with cash, but you cannot purchase the food items directly. Instead you have to buy tickets and exchange the tickets for food or drink. It has something to do with the ticket sales benefiting a non-profit or something or other.

Once you have your tickets, you walk around Civic Center Park and spend said tickets on food from dozens of vendors. You can get entree sized portions or "tastes." You continue walking around, listening to music, and tasting food until you run out of tickets. Never fear! There is another ticket booth right around the corner! So, you buy more tickets and continue your walk, stuffing your face with fried alligator tail, chocolate-dipped strawberries, and funnel cakes. Then you wash it down with a 10-ticket beer (tickets are $5 for 8.) All this happens to the beat of live music, which sort of makes up for the cost. And the festival is always advertised as "Free admission!" Of course you can get in for free, but being stuck in that crowd of munchers will be pretty miserable if you don't bring cash to join in on the munching!

In all seriousness, Taste of Colorado is a pretty good time. There are plenty of free things to participate in for the kids including live performances. I'm not a fan of the crowds, but I deal with them on this weekend every year just so I can eat some alligator tail. Also, Boyz II Men and Blood, Sweat and Tears are performing on the main stage this year. Who can say no to that?

Thrill Thursday Update and New Website!

2011-09-02T22:20:00.000-07:00

I know I've been slacking on my blogging, but it's with good reason! I'll explain after I catch up on my thrill thursday shtuff!

Week #16 (August 21-29): We started out this week with a camping trip with Anna and two other couples. It was Anna's first time camping and my first time since she was a baby. We drove up to Guanella Pass on Saturday and found our friends that staked out a spot Friday night. It rained. A lot. Anna's first attempt at peeing in the woods was a major fail. So was her fifth. We hiked up part of Mt. Beirstadt to see how far Anna could go (she made it a couple of miles before turning back.) We at s'mores. We battled smoke from the fire that seemed to always want to blow in our eyes, no matter where we stood. We got stalked by a deer. We slept on an air mattress that wouldn't keep its air. I froze while Sergej and Anna slept happily oblivious to the cold night air. And you know what? I would do it again in a heartbeat! Only, next time I'm buying a foam pad to sleep on. I'm getting to old to deal with air mattresses or sleeping on the ground.

Week #17(August 28-September 3): Monday night I went to see Def Leppard and Heart with four of my girlfriends. Groupon offered tickets for just $20, so we decided it would be fun to be amongst the middle-aged for a night! Surprisingly, I knew every single Heart song that was performed. Also surprisingly, I knew very few of the Def Leppard songs. By far, Pour Some Sugar On Me was the night's winner. I will admit that our little patch of the lawn was filled with some of the most amazing dance moves you will never lay eyes on! It was such a great night. I'm ready for Duran Duran to come through town now!

Okay, now on to why I've been such a slacker with the blog the last two weeks! My new website is up! FINALLY! A year and a half ago I purchased a domain and a subscription through the web creation service offered through FatCow, and then promptly told Sergej to create my website for me. Well, that was a waste of money because Sergej never completed the task and FatCow charges by the year. So, I canceled my subscription and subscribed to an all-in-one solution that my brain could understand and handle on its own. Voila! My website was born! It is now parked at http://www.tzphotodenver.com/. I also ordered business cards and return address labels! How cool is that? I have a photo shoot scheduled for every weekend this month as well as a wedding on October 1st. I'm hoping to supplement a large chunk of my monthly income with my photography by this time next year. I feel like I've been taking baby steps for so long and suddenly this past week has been several giant leaps. I'm thrilled!

I'll write my Staycation Saturday post this evening, because the Taste of Colorado is this weekend and it's worth mentioning! Until then...

Staycation Saturday: Camping!

2011-08-20T03:35:00.000-07:00

Today couldn't have come soon enough. I typically work Friday and Saturday nights, which doesn't leave much of a weekend to spend with my family. We have to take advantage of the time we can get between me catching up on sleep on Sundays and taking care of all the laundry and dishes that need to be cleaned. This weekend, however, I took Saturday night off from work!

This morning we will be heading up to Guanella Pass near Georgetown, Colorado to camp with two other couples. It'll be Anna's first time camping and she is excited beyond description. I'm sure she is imagining it to be far more glamorous than it actually is, but I know she'll have fun. We will be spending two days just hanging out, hiking, laughing, exploring, cooking, playing, and teaching Anna how to hold on to a tree for stability while going to the bathroom!

I haven't been camping in a couple of years, not out of dislike for the activity, but because we haven't had the opportunity. I had requested this weekend off from work months ago with the intentions in competing in the Warrior Dash, a 3.2 mile obstacle course on Copper Mountain. By the time the Dash was only a few weeks away, I hadn't had a single chance to train for it and decided that instead of spending $75 for myself to run around on a mountain I'd rather spend the time with my family at a free campground.

Colorado has hundreds of campgrounds for all levels of camping tolerance. We were going to ease Anna into camping slowly by reserving a spot at a cushy site with running water, toilets, and showers...and then I figured, what the heck? We might as well teach her now what camping really is. Plus, the free spots around the state are typically a little more out of the way, spacious, and give a little more freedom as far as hiking and improvising activities go. Some people call it primitive, I call it fun.

I can't wait to get two full days with my family and some of the best company I could ask for.

Thrill Thursday - Week #15

2011-08-18T22:51:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I impulsively purchased a Groupon deal for a snazzy jazz joint in Denver called Jazz @ Jack's. I figured I'd use it eventually and knew I'd someday need a night out with my dear friend Laura. That's the thing with me and Groupon; every time I buy a new deal, I know exactly who I'm going to use it with.

This week, the time had come for a date. Monday night (after an exhilirating trip through our brand new IKEA store) I grabbed Carrie, and we jumped on the light rail and headed downtown with Laura for a night of good conversation and belly-warming beverages. Jazz @ Jack's was quiet, but not in a depressing way. There were a few patrons, most of whom seemed to be regulars, and they gave the largely empty showroom a homey feel. After the jazz band started playing, the girls and I moved our drinks to the windows overlooking the 16th Street mall so we could people watch, hear one another gossip, and get a good yet safe view of the super hot guitarist.

Afterward, we made our way to Spill Lounge and ran into an acquaintance I went to high school with. We all sat around catching up, talking about nothing in particular, and then rode the light rail back. I indulged in a night with a couple of girlfriends knowing my daughter was safely tucked into bed with her Papa looking after her. I didn't have to worry about whether or not she was scared at someone else's home, and I got to kiss her forehead the moment I returned.

I was so very grateful for the few hours remembering that I'm not just a wife and mother. I'm still Tirzha. The things I choose to talk about may have changed, but I relish those connections with my girlfriends. I've known Laura since high school and she means so very much to me. She is brilliant and fun and everything anyone would ever need in a friend. I met Carrie last Thanksgiving and already value her presence in my life so much. That woman is an incredible inspiration to me. I will elaborate on that someday, but for now I just want to relish the memories that are being made this year with some great people.

How's Your Frontal Lobe?

2011-08-14T05:35:00.000-07:00

I think everyone has a set age that they reach when they suddenly wake up knowing that the time has come to be an adult. I reached that age a few years ago, but it seems I am surrounded by people that refuse to admit they are getting older.

I read an article a few years ago in Scientific American (or some other equally nerdy magazine) that cited research finding that the brain is not fully developed until around 25 years of age. It was mentioned again on Oprah, so I knew it must be true. The frontal lobe of our brain, which helps us with reasoning and weighing consequences, comes into full maturity at this time, which is why people under the age of 25 tend to be a lot more moronic. This fact has served me well in my relationship with Mr. Z. Anytime he reminds me of something stupid I did early on in our marriage I just say my brain wasn't fully developed so it wasn't really my fault. But, being that he is 4 years older than me, he doesn't have an excuse. After all, his brain has been fully matured for almost our entire relationship. Check mate!

I've started pondering maturity a lot lately. Not only maturity, but also this weighing of consequences shpeal. I want my sweet daughter to be surrounded by good role models and I fear that just isn't the case. Unfortunately having a good heart is not all there is to life; Thinking and making smart decisions that won't get you into trouble are also valuable skills. I'm not going to call anyone out, because that would be rude. I value my friendships, but I value them a little less as Anna gets older. I've grown tired of drama-filled conversations. I have several friends that I seem to only hear from when they need my help, knowing that I'll say yes. They haven't figured out that the consequence of that is that I'll soon stop helping.

Every day I inch a little closer to 30. I have a family, a mortgage, and am on the path to my dream job. I just don't have time for people that are less-than-genuine anymore. People that are stuck in their freshman year of college or that constantly make the same mistake over and over while expecting a different result, then complaining to me about it, are taking a back seat to the people that really matter most to me. Those people are Sergej and Anna. I have a handful of good friendships that are mutually beneficial, but it is time to just ignore the toxic people in my life. Sure, it's fun to have those people around as examples of what NOT to do, but kids like to emulate the adults that are around them most, so I'd like to keep those kinds of examples to a minimum.

So that is my goal for the remainder of the year: stress less over toxic people and those that act like their frontal lobes aren't fully developed. Rinse. Repeat as necessary.

Thrill Thursday

2011-08-12T03:40:00.000-07:00

I didn't get this posted yesterday. I had every intention of getting it posted, but I just didn't quite finish it. Sue me.

This week wasn't all that thrilling by most standards, but yesterday I was thrilled beyond belief! My days off from work have been spent mostly catching up on household work, watchign other people's children, running errands, and a whole slew of other non-fun things. But this Wednesday!? Oh, this Wednesday I enjoyed the luxury of being lazy for the majority of the day. I haven't gotten to do that for oh-so-very long. Sergej dropped Anna off at preschool and I languished around catching up on sleep, listening to music, and watching a maration session of I Shouldn't Be Alive on Animal Planet. Good stuff that is.

I feel like I'm rejuvenated enough to get through a few more weeks before I'll need a massage or manicure or some other feminine splurge. I now have the energy to sit down and hash out my goals for the next couple of years with regards to finance, school, career, etc. It was a wonderful day. I hope yours was, too!

Staycation Saturday

2011-08-06T04:31:00.000-07:00

We won't be heading out anywhere to explore this weekend because Anna has her first gymnastics meet on Sunday! In preparation she will have two practices today, so that leaves little time for exploring the great beyond. Luckily, we've done plenty of exploring already, so I can still write up a recommendation for you!

Today's post is about one of my favorite places to visit in Denver, not only for the joy it gives me but for what it stands for as well. The Denver Zoo is an outstanding establishment. It got its start in 1896 when an orphaned black bear named Billy Bryan needed a new home. Today, the zoo is ever-expanding and improving, and houses over 650 different species. It is the first zoo in the nation to receive ISO 14001 certification for Sustainable Management and it is involved in extensive conservation projects the world over. I love this place.

Every year I purchase a membership so that Anna and I can visit whenever we having nothing else planned. I try to use each visit as an opportunity to teach her about conservation and treating our environment and the animals that call it home with respect. We have formed a special relationship with the animals we visit each week, addressing them by name even though they can't hear us. The mongooses (mongeese?) are Anna's favorite while I'm in awe of the pachyderms and wolves. Really, I love them all. And I love visiting and knowing that if I have to spend money, at least the money I spend at the zoo is going to a good cause.

Throughout the year the zoo has date nights, exclusive fundraisers, ice cream socials, camps, and holiday-centered festivities to enjoy. Plus, it costs way less than nearly any other full day adventure in or out of the state! Win! Enjoy some photos I have taken during our visits....and then visit the zoo for yourself.

Thrill Thursday

2011-08-04T22:39:00.000-07:00

I have another blog for this project I'm trying where I do something new every week for an entire year. Recently I thought, "How silly is that? Why am I not just writing about my adventures on my regular blog rather than maintaining a completely separate blog all for just one entry per week?" Man, I'm silly.

So, I'll start posting about my weekly adventures on this blog. It has come to my attention that my life is ridiculously busy and I won't be able to do something new every single week for an entire year because some weeks just don't accomodate that. However, the whole point of this is to get me out trying new things, so I'm going to keep on truckin' and do the best I can. If I miss a week, then I'll move on the next and try harder to fit a little adventure in to break up the mundane process of work, laundry, cook, childcare, repeat.

Here's a recap of my year (which actually started in May) so far with dates and links to the original post on the other blog. Going forward, all posts will be posted on Thursdays. If I haven't gotten my adventure in by Thursday, then I'll post about that week's happenings the following week. Here goes:

Week #1 (May 8-May 14): Exploring the Highlands neighborhood and trying a new restaurant there with Anna, and antiquing solo!
Week #2 (May 15-May 21): This week was missed and I tried again the following week.
**The original posts will have different week numbers starting here, because I let myself have a second chance to do week number two. However, I've now decided I'd rather just give myself one shot so I end this project at exactly a year and see how much I've done rather than constantly lengthening the amount of time I'm allowed!
Week #3 (May 22 - May 28): A night with Anna and the girls, homemade banana bread, first bike ride of the summer for Anna, and trying my hand at vegan cupcakes (which were utterly delicious!)
Week #4 (May 29 - April 4): First workout at Red Rocks Ampitheater
Week #5 (June 5 - June 11): Mother/daughter day exploring downtown
Week #6 (June 12 - June 18): A little late night punk rock for Sergej and I
Week #7 (June19 - June 25): Pony Camp with Anna in Vail (one of my favorite weeks so far!)
Week #8 (June 26 - July 2): Horseback riding in Vail with Grandma
Week #9 (July 3 - July 9): Family trip to Breckenridge
Week #10 (July 10 - July 16): Court date :(

Alrighty, that catches us up as far as the other blog is concerned. Now to catch us up on what's been going on since mid July!

Week #11 (July 17 - July 23): We didn't do much during the week aside from a ton of cleaning and some yard work, but I took Saturday night off and we partied the night away with amazing friends. Saturday the 23rd was our 7 year anniversary! We got a keg and played badminton, flip cup, beer pong, and poker and just enjoyed hanging out with our friends for the evening.

Week #12 (July 24 - July 30): Sunday we dropped Anna off to spend the night at a friend's house and Sergej and I headed to Vail. He took Monday off work so we could stay the night with my aunt and uncle who were in town celebrating their anniversary as well. We visited the farmer's market, had dinner at Eagle's Nest high above Vail at the top of the slopes, and strolled around downtown talking and enjoying a few drinks together. It was a wonderful way to celebrate together.

Week #13 (July 31 - August 6): I haven't actually done much this week as we've been dealing with Sergej's car breaking down and getting ready for Anna's first gymnastics meet on Sunday. This is an off-week, unfortunately. I know I won't fit in an adventure between now and Sunday morning, so I'm just going to call it now and hope for better next week!

First World Problems

2011-08-01T20:01:00.000-07:00

I often use the phrase "First world problem!" when responding to a friend (or the mirror) when they are complaining about an issue that would sound utterly foreign to someone living in a third world country. It's my way of reminding us that there are billions out there in the world that would consider themselves lucky and wealthy to have to deal with the air conditioning going out in their car or forgetting to go grocery shopping.

I am trying to remind myself today that all of the very stressful things that happened today are first world problems. I am trying so very hard to keep it all in perspective. My family is alive and healthy, and we aren't facing any illness or persecution.

It seems like every time I attempt to get my home organized and my finances in order, the metaphorical shit hits the fan. Today it hit the fan in the form of Sergej's car breaking down. Again. Parts for his particular car run in the hundreds of dollars, whereas for my adorable Scion, they are in the mere dozens of dollars. Damn you, German cars!

Today was also my first completely solo day of the summer. It was suppose to be anyway. I agreed to watch a friend's kids on my days off for the past month, but she didn't need me today. Hooray! I had big plans to exercise, give myself a pedicure, do a little street photography, and clean house. Instead my afternoon was consumed with running around looking for a part for Sergej's car. My toes are ragged, I only got a very short workout on the elliptical in, and my house is a mess. Don't even ask if I got any photography done. I have been running around all day and not a lot of it was enjoyable. I need a bubble bath.

In the end, though, I am here. I am in my own home where I am safe and can sleep well knowing my daughter is also safe. I can sip my glass of sangria and watch Shark Week on Discovery Channel with my husband while we munch on popcorn. I worry more about what to cook for dinner than if a bomb will explode in my yard. I need to be more thankful for this good fortune. Life is rough. It downright sucks sometimes, but my life is the epitome of wonderful compared to some.

May you all be able to see the good in every day. No matter how things are going for you, someone has it worse. You do them an injustice by whining and bickering about how hard your life is when they don't know if they'll be able to feed their children or if they'll survive the hour.

Staycation Saturday!

2011-07-30T22:21:00.000-07:00

As previously noted, I've decided to give my blog a little more structure. Every Saturday I'm going to write a Staycation post about something I love to do in Colorado. I'll make sure each entry pertains to the season we are currently in and will try to make each post about something we (as in myself, the hubs, and the kid) have done recently.

Right now it is prime hiking season. Most of the snow has melted off the mountain tops and the weather is fairly mild, even at 14,000 feet above sea level. We use to hike all the time with Anna when she was still young enough to fit in our Kelty K.I.D.S. carrier (which I highly recommend, by the way) and then last summer we took a bit of a hiatus from anything with much of an elevation gain. Anna was too big for the carrier but too small to hike very far on her own. This summer she has been begging to go hiking, so this weekend we're going to get right back to it.

With thousands of trails to choose from, there are hikes for every ability level. Many don't even require leaving the Denver Metro area. We, as Coloradans, thrive on the outdoors. You can see it in our city planning and on the faces of the thousands of people out with their dogs on a Sunday afternoon. Two of my favorite hikes are Hanging Lake in Glenwood Springs and St. Mary's Glacier in Idaho Springs.

Hanging Lake is kind of a full day commitment because the drive is about two hours from Denver off I-70. The actual hike is just over a mile, but there is quite a bit of elevation gain in that mile. The view at the top is completely worth it though!

Most people stop at the lake to relax and take in the scenery, but I like to continue up to Spouting Rock just behind the falls. There are less people and you can actually stand under the water fall late in the season when spring runoff has subsided a bit. I like to eat lunch, hang out, and breathe a while before heading back down. It's a really great place to get a taste of what Colorado has to offer in terms of nature trails.

St. Mary's Glacier is much closer to home. The drive is about 30 minutes and the hike is about as long if you take your time. I've actually made it from trailhead to glacier base in 13 minutes, but I don't recommend that pace, especially with youngsters! I was just seeing how quickly I could get up and down since I had a physics final to get to that day! This hike is pretty easy, even for beginners. Once the base of the glacier is reached, there is a gorgeous lake and a perpetual snow field to gander at. This is the hike we'll be doing tomorrow with Anna in tow. She has hiked most of it on her own before. I don't have any recent photos of this trail, so I'll take some on our hike tomorrow to share!

Hiking is free, healthy, and very accessible in Colorado. I will start posting trail reviews as I re-hike them and take new photos.

New Directions (No, I Don't Mean the Cast of Glee!)

2011-07-29T04:22:00.000-07:00

I will catch up on both of my blogs this week. I'm playing catch up at home, which is much like shoveling the sidewalk in a blizzard these days. I am getting things in order to officially start pursuing the business side of my photography soon. And by "soon" I don't mean Sergej's version of soon, which means 6-12 months. I mean soon in that I'll have my website up and running by September and have already started booking more portrait sessions for actual pay. And by "actual pay" I mean real money that I can buy real groceries with, not fuzzy warm feelings that I can't do squat with.

I'm also going to go a more focused route with this blog with weekly "features" on particular days of the week so I can force myself to write more. I feel like I have so much to share, I just don't have enough direction to get it all down. So that'll start tomorrow with my first "Staycation Saturday" post wherein I blab about how fantastical it is to live in Colorado.

Lastly, I WILL be updating my 52 Thrills blog with my goings on of the last few weeks. That will be updated by tomorrow as well.

Cheers!

Seventh Heaven

2011-07-22T23:18:00.000-07:00

Seven years ago today, Sergej and I said our vows in Las Vegas. We drove through the night, nervous and excited. I fumbled through doing my hair and makeup in our hotel room before slipping on my rented gown and helping Sergej with his tuxedo. A limo took us to a chapel on Las Vegas Boulevard where we said "I do" and spent the rest of the weekend taking in the lights and noise, giddy at the thought of calling one another husband and wife.

So much has happened since then. Those two people that got married seven years ago do not seem like the same two people that today occupy their own little chunk of Suburbia with blue shutters, green grass, red and white rose bushes, and a charming little girl that sees nothing wrong with showing the entire neighborhood what she looks like in just a pair of underwear and flip flops. Who knew that this is where we would be today? Certainly not those two nervous kids.

When I was a young girl, I use to fantasize about what it would be like to be a wife and mother. I can't remember exactly what I pictured, but I'm positive it was far from reality and likely involved a throne and a crown of jewels. I don't have a throne other than the three I'm unlucky enough to have to clean regularly. I don't care much for jewelry and wear only four pieces regularly: my engagement ring, my wedding band, a mother's ring with Anna's birthstone, and a necklace with a sterling silver "T" pendant that Sergej got me for our first Valentine's Day together. As much as living in a palace seems like a fine way to live, I like what I've got. I can no longer imagine what my life would be like without Sergej and I never want to know a world without him in it.

I will tell our entire story someday if only because I would enjoy reliving it through the retelling of it, but today I just want to express how much I adore my partner. We have made it through some rough times and I'm positive there are more to come, but as time goes on we learn more and more to rely on one another to help carry the burden. There's an old saying that goes something like, "A burden shared is half the burden and a joy shared is twice the joy." That quote is what marriage is all about. I have someone I can truly count on to help me through our struggles, and then make the good times that much better.

Happy anniversary, Sergej. I look forward to many, many more years together. I love you.

End of an Era

2011-07-09T03:32:00.000-07:00

When I was eight years old, my grandmother took my brother and I across the state of Florida, from the Gulf side where she lived, to the Atlantic side. She took us to the Kennedy Space Center to witness the launch of the space shuttle Endeavour. As we stood across the harbor with throngs of other onlookers, the countdown (seemingly slowly) ticked toward 0:01....

...and then, with much excitement, we got to witness the shuttle take off. I can remember it so clearly. Even at that young age I understood I was witnessing something incredible. I still have my viewing "certificate" in a frame at home with photos of the shuttle in the sky, followed by the stream of smoke from the burning fuel.

Yesterday the era of the space shuttle came to an end with the launch of the shuttle Atlantis. I'm sad that Anna never got to see a launch in person. Last year, Sergej traveled to Florida to witness the Discovery launch, but it was delayed by months of bad weather and faulty repairs. We can always just watch reruns on YouTube I suppose!

Here's to hoping we get our space program back on track to reclaim its spot as the best space exploration program in the world.

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

As a young, idealistic American, I often feel disheartened when I watch the news and am reminded of how many conflicts we are involved in. I get frustrated with our political atmosphere, especially during elections. I often get angry at sectors that insist on holding tight to age-old views and bigotry...

...but no matter how you spin it, the United States of America is a damn fine country to live in. Perhaps we aren't perfect and maybe we could use reform in a lot of areas, but there aren't many other countries I'd be willing to raise my daughter in.

Today, I'm not only thankful for our independence as a country, I'm thankful for my independence as a woman. I'm thankful for the independence my daughter will be lucky to experience growing up that so many young women don't have.

I'm thankful for the freedoms this country gives to those born abroad. Without our open arms to the world, I would not have my amazing husband by my side. We wouldn't be nearing our seventh anniversary and I'd be a completely different person. I don't want to know a world without Sergej in it.

This country has allowed me so many wonderful opportunities I wouldn't have elsewhere. I am so very grateful for all of the soldiers, past and present, that made this possible. I may not support war, but I unabashedly support our troops and what our country stands for.

Every year we go watch a fireworks display somewhere in the Denver area (we change our destination every year because we're flaky like that) and without fail I tear up when the finale and the national anthem start. I love my country with all my heart.

Have a wonderful Independence Day!

Watch Out, My Brain is Ticking!

2011-07-02T04:36:00.000-07:00

New ideas energize me, especially when they are ideas I could conceivably put into action. I have had one such idea brewing inside me for quite some time and I've decided I'm going to actually put it into action this year.

Without going into too much detail, I'm going to get out of my comfort zone a little, camera in hand, and try to do something that could change the lives of a few people. It won't be a huge impact. I am, after all, one person. But I was raised to know that even a single person can make a difference. So, I'm going to take the strengths I was given, use my people skills, and get out there and do something for the city I live in and love so much.

On that note, have a wonderful holiday weekend! I'll be throwing a family BBQ at my house this Sunday. I'll be working during the day on the 4th, but plan on having a wonderful evening with my husband, daughter, and a bag full of sparklers when I get home. Cheers!

Preschool Blues

2011-07-01T05:13:00.000-07:00

Sometimes being a mom forces me to make decisions I'd rather not make, or deal with situations I'd much rather not deal with. One such decision/situation has reared its head.

About a month or so ago I picked Anna up from school and, upon arriving home, she became emotionally distressed. After I asked her how her day was, she began crying and telling me she didn't like "the bad teacher." Of course my mind raced and I held her while asking what this "bad teacher" did to upset her so much. She hysterically blurted out something about the teacher dumping out all the toys and making her clean them up again after play time. I had to be hearing it wrong, right? A loving caretaker wouldn't embarrass a preschooler this way, would they?

I asked her other teachers about it the next time I brought her to school and Anna's story was confirmed. Apparently during clean-up time, instead of asking the children that aren't on task to help clean up the toys, the teachers just wait and then dump everything out. The one or two children that weren't paying attention or helping during clean-up time are singled out and have to clean up all the toys again while the rest of the class looks on.

Perhaps this is a good tactic on some (read: older) children, but for preschoolers? I'm just not sure humiliation is the best approach. I've tried talking to Anna about her feelings and assuring her the teacher isn't "bad," that she just wants all the children to do their part, but Anna is terrified of her now. I've talked to the school about moving her into another classroom, but they've told me they won't until mid-August. What to do?

I don't like paying good money for a school that is practicing disciplinary actions I don't entirely agree with for this age group, but I really don't like Anna being upset. People have told me and will continue to tell me that she just needs to learn that this is how the world works. I'm not sold on the idea that preschoolers need to be introduced to the harsh realities of the world that we have to sometimes endure as adults. Shouldn't we be nurturing them and leading by example? Teaching them to work together as a team?

So now I'm down to the wire. I have to give Anna's school the ultimatum of moving her to another class or I'm placing her in another school....which means I also have to find another school. Oh boy. My relaxing summer plans have so far not come to fruition. If this ends with Anna being happier, it will all be worth it.

Tips on how to approach this?

Wine and Nature Await

2011-06-23T23:21:00.000-07:00

My grandmother arrived in town on Tuesday and already we have done more shopping than I normally care to do in a few weeks. We spent all of Wednesday in the mountains sightseeing, horseback riding, shopping, and eating. It has been a long but utterly wonderful couple of days.

Today we will be packing up the car, picking up my niece, and heading to Breckenridge for the weekend. We rented a three-bedroom townhouse with a pool and hot tub for two nights, so we will be relaxing outside as much as possible this weekend. We're bringing the champagne and hors d'oeuvres so we can have dinner poolside tonight and tomorrow, and we plan on visiting Bubba Gump for lunch while we're there.

But what am I most looking forward to? I mean, other than spending time with my family away from schedules? The funky hat store and creperie that I always visit while in town! It's going to be a great weekend.

Enjoy yours, I'll enjoy mine, and let's report back on Monday!

"Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad."

2011-06-18T00:05:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the absence this week. It was filled with chores and a little bit of adventure with Anna, but no time to just sit and sort through my thoughts and write!

Father's Day is tomorrow and I'm still thinking of ways to make it special for Sergej. He is, after all, a very special father. I was not fortunate enough to grow up with a steady father figure close by that I felt I could talk to about anything, and now I don't talk to my father at all. Sad? Maybe. But it's not what I'm dwelling on right now. What I'm thinking about is how, after almost seven years of marriage, I'm confident Anna will be lucky enough to have her Papa always here for her. How do you thank someone for that? What exactly do you get someone when you want to say, "Thank you for being here through thick and thin as a strong, supportive, fun husband and father. You are loved and appreciated in more ways than you could ever begin to imagine."

I didn't know either, so I bought him steak. Holy crap, Omaha Steaks is overwhelming. The choices and the prices are jaw-dropping. I know, I know. Omaha Steaks are sooooo not worth the ridiculous prices they charge (or so I'm told) but being a first time customer with a coupon code, I got a pretty good deal. We have a retail location near us, too, so I didn't have to pay shipping charges and Sergej got to get his Father's Day celebration started early since there's no way to hide 10 boxes of meat. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so I think he was happy with his gift.

I love this man so much, but more importantly so does Anna. When she hears the garage door open signalling his return home from work, she runs and hides so she can "surprise" him. Last night, she told him she had a present for him, then went to her room to retrieve one of her storybooks that she had wrapped up in a bag that had once contained new socks. We put all of our loose change in a jar on our dresser, so Anna told Sergej she wanted him to have her extra piggy bank since she had two others and he needed a better place to put his money. Seeing the two of them cuddling on the couch on early weekend mornings when I return home from work is the best way I could ever ask to end my workday.

To my amazing husband, I love you. Anna loves you. And we are so very lucky to have you to share our lives with. Thank you for being the most wonderful father Anna could ever hope for. You're the apple of her eye.

To all of the other amazing fathers out there, you're truly special. Happy Father's Day.

Music Music Music

2011-06-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

I don't want to spend another entire post complaining about how time keeps getting sucked away from me, so instead I'll post some music I'm really loving these days! Enjoy!

First, Josh Groban. You might know him best for his song "You Raise Me Up." This is a song in portuguese that I am just in love with at the moment. The title roughly translates to "You Exist in Me." I think. I don't really know because I don't know a lick of portuguese, so I have to trust what Google throws at me. There isn't a full video available yet, so here's a little clip.

He is one heck of a talent. Sergej's musical tastes fall more in the System of a Down genre, but I've started dropping hints that tickets to Groban's Denver show in August would be a fantastic anniversary gift. And by "dropping hints" I mean that I called him at midnight from work as soon as I saw Groban was coming to town and told him to buy me a ticket. I'm completely open to going alone, assuming I also get a backstage pass!

The National is a band I happily stumbled upon a year and a half ago and I have loved every single song I have heard of theirs. I'm still waiting for them to throw out some US tour dates close to home so I can attempt to see them live. These guys at Red Rocks would make for an amazing night:

I could probably post videos for days and days, but I'll just add one more. I'm really loving thie bands I've seen lately that don't fit into any one genre. Mumford & Sons is a great example of that. They're a little blue grass, a little folk, a little rock and a lot of just their own thing. I saw a band this week that was very similar in this regard. I'll write about them on my other blog and post a link at the end of this entry.

I updated my other blog with my adventures for weeks #4 and #5, and there is a video from the band I saw this week, Old Man Markley.

Getting Older Sucks

2011-06-02T23:10:00.000-07:00

Sunday night I was lucky enough to have a night out with Sergej. Anna spent the night at a friend's house while we headed to a pre-Memorial Day BBQ. I had worked all night Saturday and stayed up all day Sunday doing laundry, baking cupcakes, and contemplating what to wear. So, by the time I got home from the BBQ around midnight, I was absolutely exhausted. I was so exhausted in fact, that I must have slept in the same position for almost the whole night. When I woke up Monday morning, My entire upper body felt like it was in a knot.

Thank goodness for preschoolers. I convinced Anna to balance herself standing up on my shoulders while I laid on my stomach. She gently rocked back and forth and was able to get the knot out of my right shoulder. My neck was still in pain, but I was glad to have at least one area of my body under control.

Since that morning, though, things have gotten progressively worse. I must have a pinched nerve. I can feel the pain in my arm now and have a ridiculous time trying to move my head around in any normal fashion. A cocktail of painkillers has not helped, nor have warm compresses or icy hot. Although, I did get some icy hot in my eye on my drive home this morning...and then rear ended someone as I was attempting to get the bruning sensation out of said eye.

Oi! It is time to see a doctor. Posting has been light and I apologize. It's rather difficult to hunch over the computer at the moment. The good news is I just found out my insurance covers chiropractor visits, so after my visit with the doctor tomorrow, I will be setting up an appointment with a chiropractor. Even if I don't need one. Because I can. Followed shortly thereafter by an hour-long massage at Massage Envy. Maybe then I'll feel normal again. Until then...

Your Kid is Cute...to You...

2011-05-27T04:17:00.000-07:00

This morning I took Anna to gymnastics. Up until last week she had only taken lessons on Saturdays, but after talking with her coach and deciding she could use the extra ~~lesson in patience~~ fun time with friends, I started taking her on Thursday mornings as well. Saturday parents and Thursday parents are two completely different species, I'm convinced.

On Saturdays, the onlooking crowd ranges from mothers to fathers to grandparents to siblings. Half of the observers have coffee in hand. The parents that choose to put their children in lessons on Saturday mornings, presumably, have to work all week. We all sit watching the gymnasts or reading the paper (or playing Angry Birds on our iPhones) enjoying a little time to just sit there without having to put much thought into anything for the next hour. The Saturday class is, comparatively, huge. And hectic. The gym floor is full of competitive gymnasts preparing for their next meet, private lessons, and no less than a dozen or so preschoolers hobbling down the low beams.

And then there are the Thursday classes. They are small. The only gymnasts in the place at 9am on a Thursday morning are the six or seven preschoolers and the occasional competitive gymnast getting in a little extra time on the uneven bars. The onlookers are entirely made up of stay-at-home moms and younger siblings of the tater tots getting lessons. They are nice enough women, but get a group of stay-at-home moms together (or really, any moms) and suddenly something happens. Either they decide they are going to compete at the "my child does this, what can your child do" game, or they decide that all boundaries are out the window and they will let their babies do all kinds of things they wouldn't allow them to do elsewhere (I hope, anyway.)

This week, I parked myself on one end of the risers on the balcony overlooking the gym. I purposely situated myself toward one end to give the signal that I had worked all night and preferred to be left to my coffee and ~~Angry Birds~~ very important iPhone based tasks. The moms allow their infants and toddlers to entertain themselves by roaming around the upper floor (totally fine by me, by the way) and exploring cubbies, going under the risers, etc. One such infant thought I looked very interesting indeed. And I must admit, I am quite the interesting looking woman after a full night of work and not enough caffeine. This little boy, possibly close to two years old, began rummaging through my belongings. I looked up thinking his mother must not have seen him and, therefore, was slow to redirect her curious guy. Nope. Not the case. She was standing not four feet from us, watching him endearingly, like he must be the most adorable creature to ever walk the face of the planet. She looked at me and smiled, expecting...well, I have no idea what she was expecting. For me to fawn all over him? When I didn't smile and remark on how intelligent her son that was now holding my car keys must be, she picked him up and simply turned him around, placing my keys back in my bag. That wasn't what the tike wanted, though. He came back. And once again, Mommy was smiling lovingly as he picked up Anna's shoe and shoved it in his mouth. What the?! I (gently) grabbed all of my belongings and placed them on the top riser where he could no longer get to them and continued on with my very important iPhone based tasks.

When did we decide that everyone has to agree how adorable our children are? I am in these situations quite a bit, where someone looks at me expectantly as if waiting for me to coo at their baby or smile at their kid who just rubbed snot on my pant leg. I'm not exactly old fashioned, but can we please stick to common manners here, people?

A while back, I started a conversation with a friend in the very private forum of Facebook (in case you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm) about children on airplanes. I mentioned that we took Anna on a trip to Lithuania. The entire trip there took somewhere in the area of 13-15 hours of flight time and three separate planes. She was still nursing, so the trip was easy and most passengers had no clue she was there. Hooray for boobs! When she was a toddler and we took a trip to California, we drove to avoid not only the cost of three tickets, but the hassle of having a running toddler on a plane, ruining said plane trip for everyone else. My car has a DVD player and we left at night so Anna slept most of the way. Everyone came out ahead. As parents, I said, we have responsibilities to not only take care of our children, but to also make sure our children are not infringing on the comfort of others. People that are travelling without children are doing so because they don't want to travel with children. These people should not be expected to deal with my child, or any other child for that matter. Someone piped in about not feeling the need to apologize to nearby passengers if her baby cries for an entire flight from Denver to New York because, after all, she paid for her tickets just like everyone else. When I suggested that nobody expects kids to be perfect angels, but that she should at least act like she cares if her two children are bothering others, she committed the ultimate friendship murder. She unfriended me.

I'm not entirely sure what my point is. I guess all this is to say that if you have children, respect the boundaries of others. Just because someone has a child of their own does not mean they want to have your child's spit and boogers on their stuff. And when travelling, be understanding that your baby's screams could be signalling the start of vacation for a honeymooning couple. Nobody wants to start a honeymoon that way, so at least pretend to be apologetic.

In September we will be taking Anna back to Lithuania. We'll see how much I care about neighboring passengers when I hear "Are we there yet?" for the 7,637th time.

Feeling a Little...Deflated.

2011-05-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

I've been back and forth over the last few months over my feelings toward my own photography. I really truly enjoy photography, but I'm not sure that I want to pursue it as a full blown career. I want to teach. I want to teach biology. I'm GOING to teach biology. That is my true passion. If I find a way to make a living by tying the two together it would be perfect, but biology is the path I'm going to pursue with the most gusto.

Still, I'm going to continue with photography and probably take a few classes over the next few semesters just because. I feel like I'm not getting something right. I know I have a ton of room for improvement, but sometimes when spying on the work of some professional Denver photographers, I get highly discouraged. Usually I'm impressed and inspired, but occasionally I'll come across photos that are unintentionally crooked (and by that I mean they aren't crooked in the artistic, mod way) or are over- or under-exposed, or even photoshopped to death. When I come across those photos I feel odd. I'm mad someone would pay good money for photos that I could easily improve upon, and I've had no formal training aside from the advice and mentoring of the pros I'm lucky to call my friends and family. Maybe they're just really awesome at marketing or have great contacts. I don't know. In any case, I don't like how it makes me feel so I'm going back to the beginning to figure out how to just improve myself.

I had a newborn/family photo session last night. While I haven't gotten around to looking over all the photos yet, I did sneak a few peeks and like this one. So, I'ma gonna share it! Enjoy! And ignore all the melodramatic posts sure to come out of me in the coming week or so. It's super rainy and gloomy. It's affecting me!

Going Vegan Just Got Easier

2011-05-22T18:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, those beautiful cupcakes are vegan and I did indeed make them with my bare hands! Okay, maybe I also used some bowls, measuring spoons, a hand mixer, a cake decorating bag and tip...but my hands did a lot of the work!

I decided that today was the start of a week of 100% vegan eating. This is no easy task as I love love love cheese and have a wicked sweet tooth. I'm convinced that going vegan is what's best for me, though. So, this week is my test week. I've been vegetarian long enough and I wanted to be 90% vegan in my everyday life by June, so I should really start figuring out the how-to's of the lifestyle, especially when I'll still be cooking traditional meat and dairy-laden meals for my family.

Today I made vegan cupcakes for our weekly game night, and aside from the food coloring these are also completely organic. These are absolutely amazing, especially for "health" food. Bonus: They're only about 175 calories each, but definitely taste like more! Here's how to do it:

Vegan Golden Vanilla Cupcakes

Ingredients (I used all organic ingredients, so decide which you want before purchasing):

1 cup soy milk
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1 1/4 cups flour
2 tablespoons cornstarch
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup margarine (non-hydrogenated. I recommend Earth Balance)
3/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/4 teaspoon almond extract

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350F and line muffin pan with paper liners
Whisk soy milk and the vinegar together and let sit until curdled (you can move on to the next steps while the milk and vinegar sit. It will be ready by the time you need it again.)
Sift flour, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda, and salt into a large bowl and mix.
In a separate large bowl, use a handheld mixer at medium speed to cream the margarine and sugar for about 2 minutes until light and fluffy (don't beat more than 2 minutes!) Beat in vanilla and almond extracts.
Alternate beating soy milk mixture and dry ingredients into the margarine/shortening mixture, stopping to scrape the sides of the bowl as needed.
Fill cupcake liners half way (recipe calls for them to be filled 2/3 of the way, but I found half way to be perfect, plus it yielded 18 cupcakes rather than 12. If you're going to be frosting these, stick with half way so they don't rise above the sides of the liners.)
Cook 20-22 minutes until done. Transfer to a cooling rack and let cool completely before frosting.

Vegan Fluffy Buttercream Frosting Recipe

Ingredients:

1/2 cup non-hydrogenated shortening
1/2 cup non-hydrogenated margarine
3 1/2 cups powdered sugar (sift if clumpy....I didn't sift mine.)
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 cup soy milk
Optional - vegetable based gel food coloring

Directions:

Beat shortening and margarine together until well combined and fluffy. If coloring, add gel color at this step, being sure to saturate your color slightly more than you want the final result to be.
Add sugar and beat for about 3 more minutes until combined.
Add vanilla and soy milk and beat for another 5 to 7 minutes until fluffy. (I don't think I beat for this long, but you do want to be sure you get all the little lumps of mixture smoothed out.

This frosting is AMAZING. You can either spread it, dip it, or pipe it. It'll be delicious either way!

Enjoy!!

Last Post Ever??

2011-05-20T16:16:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow night at EXACTLY 6pm in each time zone, we will all experience a great earthquake. It will start at the Pacific Rim and make its way around the world, ending in Hawaii. After the earthquake, the "chosen" people will be raptured, whisked away to heaven, while the rest of us sit on Earth dumbfounded at what just happened. That is according to Harold Camping, and as such is complete Bologna. Baloney? Bologna? I'm not sure which is the correct way to spell it in this context.

Forget the fact that the man has predicted the end of the world several times before or, if you are a believer in the Bible as the word of God, that the good book clearly states that no one will know the date of the rapture except God himself. Without getting too depressing up in here, I just think it's sad that he had garnered so many supporters and followers that have given up their life savings, homes, pets, and any bit of independence to spread the word of May 21st's impending doom. Come May 22nd, these folks will have nothing to go back to. I heard an interview with a follower who is pregnant, due in June. She hasn't gotten any prenatal care for her baby or herself because she doesn't feel she needs to. She's going to be gone tomorrow anyway, right? And if Sunday comes and she's still here she will have no money left to feed herself. So very very sad.

On a lighter note, it has been fun seeing the various websites and business that have popped up as a result of this prediction. If you have pets that you fear will be left behind without anyone to care for them, you can pay a fee to Eternal Earth-Bound Pets to take care of them when you're gone. The employees have all confirmed "in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation." I'm sorry, but if that doesn't make you snicker at least a teensy weensy bit, you have a very poor sense of humor! You can also have a final message delivered via email to up to 62 people of your choosing six days following the rapture, courtesy of You've Been Left Behind.

I don't believe all the Christians are going to be taken up into heaven tomorrow. But if that happens, I'm completely open to everyone saying, "I told you so!" to my face. I know I won't be going. Besides, I've already planned a post-rapture game night for Sunday to help my friends and I cope with the news. It would be rude of me to simply disappear and leave them out in the cold, ringing my doorbell.

My Metabolism Sucks

2011-05-18T09:58:00.000-07:00

I had glamorous visions in my head of what summer would be like, what with Anna in school two days a week and no classes for me to rush off to. I must be a self-sabotager because those visions will remain just that, make-believe scenarios that I'll probably not get the chance to experience much of.

*Sigh*

I registered for two classes over the summer. I am likely going to cut that back down to one, though. I have a grant that I need to use for the summer semester if I don't want to lose it and it is really extremely hard for me to turn down free money. Luckily the class will be online, so I'll be able to do most of the studying and assignments at work.

After almost three years of being a full-time mom during the day, working nights, and juggling college classes, I think my body is just completely opposed to relaxation. If I sit for more than half an hour, my body forces me up to move around because it's afraid I must be dying or something.

And that leads me to the biggest mystery of all: If I'm incapable of sitting still and being a couch potato, watching reruns of Jerry Springer and the Tyra Banks show, why am I not a size 2?

About That Post I Promised 5 Days Ago...

2011-05-11T23:22:00.000-07:00

Silly me thinking that the end of the semester would mean the beginning of an organized, carefree, and easygoing life! Ahh, ignorance is bliss!

I received an email from an old friend today...or yesterday or at some other point in the past (all of my days run together lately) and in it she asked for some advice. She is going back to school and wanted to know how I keep my home, family, and finances in order and my sanity intact through school, work, and home life. After I picked myself up off the floor from laughing so hard, I thanked her for being so sweet and gave some advice that I thought might help. But the truth is, I don't keep it all together. This very blog is great evidence of that! I promise I'll post and then before I know it a week has slipped by.

I'm happy to report that at least this time my week got away from me for good reason. I had my last final on Monday, for which I had to prepare by watching a movie and drinking a bottle of wine. I take my studies seriously! Then today I had a nap to attend to. And those days in between I was busy dreaming about what sofa I'm going to buy my freshly painted living room. So you see, big things were happening for me!

I'm back now, I promise! I have a lot of projects coming up that I'm excited to be able to share with the three readers of this blog! So, stay tuned for posts detailing all kinds of good stuff.

Oh, and I've started my year-long project to try something new every single week. You can read about my very humble, low-key first week here. Have a lovely day!

Holy Finals Week!

2011-05-06T15:01:00.000-07:00

I have two more exams to prepare for and a paper to write (that is due in the morning!!) So, as much as I'd like to post about some of the wonderful things Anna and I have had the pleasure of doing this week, it'll have to wait. I also have a post and photos for my other blog, but that'll have to wait as well. This has been one of the most hectic weeks. I've only been able to post here and there on Facebook because I'm able to do so from my phone and in short one-sentence blips. Oh, the life of a mother/wife/student/security concierge! I wouldn't trade it for anything, but for now I must continue on with my duties. Tomorrow night I will certainly post something!

Princess Frenzy

2011-04-30T22:53:00.000-07:00

With all of the hype leading up to the royal wedding Friday between Prince William and Catherine Middleton, there are no doubt millions upon millions of young girls wishing they were getting their chance to be a princess, too. In Thursday's Denver Post, there was an article about the princess fantasy that is fueled in large part by Disney and their line of princesses that was introduced in 2001. In this article, several scholars and intellectuals express concern over the movement's anti-feminism tones, noting that being a princess is "not a good career goal."

I don't consider myself a feminist, necessarily, but I do consider myself to be a strong woman with firm women's rights beliefs. I don't subscribe to the notion that some sports and activities are made for boys, while others are made for girls, and I don't feel as if girls should be stuck with particular sections of the color spectrum for their clothing. I believe that a woman's place is wherever she most wants to be, doing what she most wants to be doing. Anna knows how to cause a chemical reaction between vinegar and baking soda and what the different phases of water are, but she also likes to dress up like Cinderella and wear my heels. She likes to play house with her two dozen baby dolls (not an exaggeration) but will follow it up with some time playing with her rubber dinosaurs or toy cars.

Anna's only wish for Easter was that the bunny would bring her a set of princess high heels to wear with her princess dresses. So, the "bunny" left those heels on our doorstep Easter morning. She likes having her nails painted, so I paint them. She's in awe of my many lip glosses, so I bought her princess chapstick that she can put on whenever she wants to feel especially girly. Tutus and leotards regularly dot my living room floor after an afternoon of trying on every possible combination of outfits Anna can think of. I encourage this behavior because I know it makes her happy. Do I think I'm setting her up for a life of oppression by buying her princess outfits to dress up in, games to play with, and a collection of princess stories to read before bed? Absolutely not.

I think children are smarter than we give them credit for, and as much as Anna may fantasize about one day being a princess (and she WILL fantasize about it as she gets older, just as I was so sure Prince William would one day meet me and ask for my hand in marriage after becoming smitten by my undeniable charm) I think she is smart enough and strong enough to handle the sad truth that the only one calling her princess and meaning it will be me.

But what is this about being a princess not being a valid career goal? I certainly wouldn't do well with the life of a princess, being able to only say and do certain things when in public and having to think of the monarchy before myself. I'm just not cut out for it (and let's be honest, my figure isn't cut out for those designer clothes, either.) I'm fiercly independent and need more freedom than the life of a royal would allow (although I could probably deal with the lack of freedom given enough money and pretty shiny things!) But I'm not every woman. Some women really truly want to play that role of obedient housewife, mother, and homemaker. Who am I to judge that? How is raising children and creating a happy family "not a good career goal?" Staying home is not any less valid a life choice simply because it doesn't come with a paycheck. If I remember correctly (and I am remembering correctly) Princess Diana was very involved in not only raising her sons to be compassionate young men, but cared a great deal about those less fortunate than her. She was very involved in relief efforts throughout Africa and left behind a legacy that not many will be able to live up to.

I can't think of a single Disney princess that, in her little animated 2-hour life story, didn't overcome some sort of adversity while showing compassion and understanding to her friends, be they animals, small-statured humans, or talking household objects. I am completely fine with Anna wanting to be like those princesses. I know she won't go off to college expecting to be whisked away by a billionaire on a pretty horse or in a slick Aston Martin. But while she's four years old, I'm just going to let her continue playing make-believe and dressing up as the princess I know she will always be, royalty or not.

Adventures Await

2011-04-28T05:37:00.000-07:00

Sunday marks the first day of May, and May is the month I've decided will be the start of a year-long journey through unfamiliar territory. I feel like people (most especially myself) get caught up in the daily grind. We're so focused on our routines and rituals that we just trudge along, sticking to what we know best, without really experiencing anything.

I've always been a lover of spontaneity. If I weren't a mother and wife right now, I would have found a way to live elsewhere in the world. I've always wanted to pack up and join the Peace Corps or teach English abroad. Now I spend my days frantically trying to accomplish my ever-growing list of tasks. I never get through them and my list just grows on and on.

To get a break from being a mother, wife, student, and all those other jobs I fill each week, I have decided that I will try at least one new thing every week for an entire year, then post photos and blog about it. These little adventures don't have to be extreme or costly, they just have to be activities I've never done before...or haven't done since I was a wee one (I plan on horseback riding even though I've been before, I just haven't been since I was in middle school and have never gone on a tour.) For the next couple weeks, they will actually be rather tame since I'm still in school most of the day on Monday and Wednesday. But once school is out and I've got two entire days to myself every week, I'll start thinking of much more exciting things to do, like discover a new scenic hike, visit a ghost town, go horseback riding, and so on. After a while, it's going to become quite a challenge to think of new adventures, so if you have ideas throw them out there!

I will still be posting regular entries here, and my weekly "adventure" posts on a separate blog. However, I will always post a link here when there is a new entry up. The new blog address is http://52thrills.blogspot.com/

I don't know what I'm hoping to get out of this, but I know I will enjoy it!

Say Hello to My Little Friend

2011-04-23T00:21:00.000-07:00

Is that not one of the sexiest pieces of equipment you have ever seen?! I just bought myself a brand-spanking new 10" sliding compound miter saw! I'm fairly excited about this purchase. I have wanted one of these since building our compost bin by hand last year. I get to put the hand saw and curse words away now!

This is not the highest quality saw out there. I know this. The reviews have stated this fact. But, this IS an excellent saw for a beginner or hobbyist, and I am both. I got a coupon for $60 off this saw, plus an additional 20% off and this baby came to a grand total of $96 after adding on the additional year of warranty coverage (because I'm cheap and would like to get my saw replaced for free if it dies on me in that time.)

I have plans to build a patio bar next week, and then hopefully will get around to some Adirondack chairs and a long picnic table. I like furniture a lot. I can't stop browsing patio sets and indoor accents. But I don't have the guts to drop hundreds of dollars on something that will sit unused half the year. My patio bar will cost me less than $40 in materials and will even give me a bit of a workout. Look out world! I'm a grownup now and am about to prove it with actual furniture on my gorgeous, far-too-large covered patio! It's going to be a great summer.

Why I Won't Homeschool

2011-04-19T17:01:00.000-07:00

I've seen countless blog entries and websites out there dedicated to the benefits of homeschooling: lower cost, no bullying (unless you suck as a parent), specialized curriculum, etc, etc. That's all well and good, and as much as I'd love to sit here and write something that would win me the mom-of-the-year award in the blogosphere, it just ain't gonna happen. Nope, I am not one that can sit here and romanticize the finer points of homeschool.

I think homeschooling a child robs them of so much. I know, I know, you don't have to tell me that homeschooling is the better option for children who have social issues to deal with or are military kids that move around so much they barely have time to learn the names of their classmates before switching schools again. For the average child in America, though, homeschooling is not the better option. I know this. Did I conduct a study? Did I interview children that were homeschooled versus their publicly and privately educated counter-parts? Nope. It's just an opinion. An opinion that happens to be right!

Aside from the social growth that I feel homeschooled children miss out on, as well as the camaraderie, prom butterflies, first crushes, team sports, after-school clubs, and sheer happiness that comes with driving off-campus to lunch, homeschooled children are missing out on a wealth of knowledge.

I have subjects that I'm strong in. If Anna ever comes home and asks me to read over an English paper or wants clarification on how cells divide during mitosis, I'm her girl. If she needs help on an algebra assignment, I'll gladly point her in Sergej's direction. But should she need help with German homework or a timeline of early American history, she's screwed. That's what teachers are for. Each teacher has an area they specialize in and can answer any question she may have. Teachers don't get into their line of work for the money (haha!), they do it because they love to teach and they genuinely want their students to be just as involved in their own education as the teachers all are. They went to school for 4 to 10 years to study exactly the subject they are teaching these students! Why on earth would I ever trust my own brain over their college education? It baffles me. According to a US Department of Education report, homeschooling rates increased between 1999 and 2003 among students whose parents have a high school or LOWER education. Say what!?! So you're telling me that you are more capable of teaching your child than a college-educated teacher that concentrated in one particular field of study just so that he/she can give that information to your child? WHAAAAAT!??!

Fucking blows my mind.

Not only are most of these parents under-qualified to teach their children the subjects required, but so many parents teach only what they feel is important (read: those things which align perfectly with their religious/social/political views.) This is horrible. Why would anyone want their child to have such a narrow view of the world around them? I watched a documentary a few months ago wherein a mother was homeschooling her son. She refused to teach him the theory of evolution. I get it. You believe in the theory of intelligent design. Whatever. It's cool. But shouldn't you be a proper parent and allow your child to know what the various theories are and make up his own mind about it all?

Sergej and I are nontheists. We don't really believe in anything, but we're not necessarily against religion either. If you and I can peacefully coexist, perfect. We'll get along just fine. We are so scientifically minded, though, that it's pretty hard to believe in a lot of the nonsense that is spouted as fact out there (another post for a completely different blog...or my diary where nobody will read it.) Even though we don't practice anything, I read a Children's Bible to Anna at bedtime. I teach her about dinosaurs and our solar system (and I happily brag to anyone within earshot that she knows all the planet names and how stars are made.) I teach her morals and explain why it's better for us to give our unused toys and clothes to those that are less fortunate than us. I try to give her a compassionate and respectful foundation to grow on. We want her to have a wide world view. And as much as I try to give her as wide of a view as I possibly can, there will always be areas I lack and can't fulfill. She can't learn about other cultures from me the way she can if she goes to school and sits in a room filled with classmates from other countries and of other religions.

I stayed the night at a friend's house for a birthday party one year in high school. In the morning her mom made us all a spicy soup with textured vegetable protein. I was amazed that we wouldn't be eating frosted flakes. We drank tea with our morning soup before we all dispersed for the day. It was a culture lesson I would not have received had I been homeschooled. I want Anna to have that. I think every child deserves that.

Homeschooling may work better for a lot of parents. But I highly doubt it works out to be the better option for most children.

Home Cure Week #3 and Being Sluggish

2011-04-16T05:43:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I'm totally late on posting this. This is week number three of the Home Cure Deep Treatment and I'm behind! I made a Honey-Do list, though. Sergej WILL be helping me this weekend if he cares even a little bit about future beer drinking privileges or the freedom to do anything without me whining in his ear.

This week, if you're following along, you'll need to accomplish the following:

Vacuum, dust, mop throughout home (should be done every two weeks, or every week if you have kids and pets.)
Clean entrance and related closets
Arrange to have all repairs from checklist taken care of in the next three weeks.
Declutter entrance (including all closets.)
Move old mail, catalogs, and magazines to the Outbox**
Look into what you would need to create a landing strip
Cancel unused subscriptions
Identify "cool" rooms and "warm" rooms
Apply 80/20 color rule
Cook two meals at home this week

I never explained what the Outbox is. Basically, it's a space you designate in your home to place items which you find along your cleaning process that don't fit into the particular room it's in. Once a week, the Outbox should be sorted. Items of value that you no longer want can be donated or sold. Items that you must keep should find an appropriate home within your home or be stored appropriately. And that which can be discarded should be.

Cool rooms and warm rooms are easy to figure out. In general, you want quiet areas of your home (bedrooms, bathrooms, hallways, and office) to be dressed in cool colors: white, greens, stone colors, blues. The living room, family room, kitchen and dining room can be dressed in warm, exciting colors: black (this is actually a warming color and should be used sparingly), yellows, reds, oranges. This helps the energy of the home feel more natural.

The 80/20 color rule is a guideline for using neutrals and more bold colors. You should try to stick to 80% of a room being painted/accessorized in a neutral color from either the warm or cool family with 20% of the room dressed up in punches of coordinating colors outside the realm of neutrals. For instance, I will eventually be painting my formal living room a pebble gray color. It will have black and white furniture, black picture frames hung gallery style, and a white or gray area rug. The curtains are an olive green and I will be making matching pillows. I'll be throwing in punches of color within the frames (in the form of nerdy biology prints circa 1904) and in accessories on the black bookcases we'll be purchasing. I'm thinking I'll be doing reds, pinks, yellows, and some teal. Mostly, the room will be neutral colors. I still need to create a story board to help me with my selections, but that's another project for another day months down the road.

To end this post, I'd like to complain about how damn tired I am. I don't know why. Last week I was fine, but this week I'm feeling so out of it. I'm exhausted. Maybe it's all the cleaning and sorting I'm trying to accomplish. Maybe it's the fact that I'm doing it all on my own regardless of how many times I plead for help (insert eye-rolling and cliche husband quip here.) Maybe I just need to become independently wealthy so I can quit working. Yes, that sounds like the best route to take!

Passion

2011-04-12T08:26:00.000-07:00

I've had the privilege of getting my hands on a couple of photo shoots this week. I'm glad I'm finally finding time again. Photography is such a passion of mine and it makes me happy to be able to create something that I know someone will treasure forever. When your home is on fire and you've made sure everyone is safe outside, the first things you grab to save are family photo albums. In my case it would be my computer since all of my photos from the past 8 years are stored on it along with some gems I scanned from before I was born.

I've also been a little obsessed with astrophotography lately. And while I don't have the proper equipment to get the shots I want to, I'm satisfied with practicing on the moon for now. Since I don't have a ton of exciting things to say, I'll just go ahead and throw up a few of my favorites from the past couple weeks. I'll post the Home Cure Week #3 assignments tomorrow. Have a lovely Tuesday!

Relief!

2011-04-09T01:12:00.000-07:00

For the past two months, my darling husband has been working as a contractor for a company near home. The pay is decent and he likes the job, but we were never sure if he'd get to keep it. Keeping it meant we could live a normal life, while not getting hired at the end of his contract period meant doom, failure and a future of living in a cardboard box with two cats, a dog, and a preschooler. Okay, okay, we wouldn't actually be reduced to living in a cardboard box but that fear has been at the back of my head since Sergej accepted the contract-to-hire position.

No more worrying for me! Sergej was offered the job at salary with benefits. Woohoo! I had hoped he'd get offered enough to allow me to reduce the amount of hours I work, but he didn't. Still, I'm glad that I no longer have to bite my nails in anticipation of an offer. And this still affords me the flexibility to keep my mind open and see what other types of work I can find openings in that may be better suited for family life. I'd really like to see more of my family.

I'm not going to jump on the job search bandwagon just yet. First I'm going to approach my boss about the possibility of changing around the days I work so I never work more than two nights in a row. Maybe this will give me a tiny boost in energy and I can leave behind these days of feeling like a puddle of mud at the end of the week. A puddle of very exhausted mud.

I have a feeling this is going to be our best year yet. It seems every year gets a little better than the last.

A Year of Adventure

2011-04-08T04:59:00.000-07:00

I have made the decision to take this summer off of academia. Why? Because I can. I want to get done with school as quickly as possible, but I want to keep my sanity intact, so even though I was offered a grant that I can only use during the summer semester, my mental health is worth more to me than that $1200. I need a rejuvenation period, especially since things are about to get a whole lot harder after this semester. My "easy" classes are all behind me and it's going to be an uphill battle from here. It'll be all chemistry and physics and algebra and calculus and horror after horror after horror!

Excuse me while I hyperventilate....

Okay, I'm back! So, what do I plan on doing during my glorious free time this summer? Aside from holding onto the hope of being able to keep my house clean for more than a week at a time, I plan on getting out of my element more. In May (or possibly earlier if I can't contain myself) I am going to be starting a little side blog to document what I hope will be a year of trying out new things. I want to push myself to try at least one thing completely out-of-the-ordinary for me each week. Some of these activities will be done on my own, some will be with Anna, some with Sergej, some with friends....and some with as many people as I can find!

I've already got a horseback tour of Vail and a weekend in Breckenridge planned for May/June. I've also signed up to do the Warrior Challenge, a 3 mile obstacle course on Copper Mountain in August. So now I've just got to find 49 more adventures to keep me busy for the next year.

I'm not getting any younger. Nobody is. I keep saying to myself, "Someday, I'll do_______." I'm tired of saying that. I'm an adult now, dammit! It's time to just start doing this stuff. Some of the things I plan on partaking in may not seem adventurous to some. Perhaps I'll attempt to remodel my basement at some point, a task familiar to the manly men of America but as foreign to me as pumpkin pie is to my commie husband (he's not really a commie....anymore.) Maybe I'll have time to tackle another 14er or two, something I've done before but which I want to do a while lot of. The whole point of this is just to get myself to try things I've never done before but have always wanted to...or maybe have never considered. I want to push myself and find out what I'm made of.

In any case, I'm excited to get started. Have any suggestions for things I should do? When it comes time for me to start, I'll post a link to the other blog and I hope you'll read both! Maybe you could start your own weekly adventure series!

Home Cure Week #2

2011-04-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

I do apologize for my absence the past week. I've been busy, like always. But this time it's a good thing! I've actually been getting shit done at home! Hooray!

My assignments for my home cure last week were all completed on time (!!!) and it looks like I'll actually be able to complete my first ever 100% thorough spring cleaning this year. This week I am suppose to do the following:

Fix one thing on my repair list on my own
Clean my kitchen top to bottom and throw away old food
Buy a water filter and use it
Run my hands over every wall in my home, in order to learn which walls are cold and which are warm, as well as to familiarize myself with every corner of my house
Clear space for an Outbox
Clear one surface and use the outbox
Buy fresh flowers
Determine my style
Find a new recipe and cook one meal at home
Choose the date for my housewarming

I've already gone around the house and tightened every loose cabinet and drawer handle, unclogged drains, and have had professionals out to do an annual cleaning of my pipes. Today I'm having a pane of glass in the French door leading to my sunroom replaced (the casualty of a horribly long night with a restless dog.) Old food gets tossed once a week and I am constantly cooking new recipes, so we're good there. I'm in the middle of my kitchen clean-up. My kitchen is ginormous, so that step is taking me some time. It was one of the reasons we bought this house, but now I'm wishing I had my cute little downtown studio apartment again!

My style is apparently called organic modern, which is exactly the terms I would use to describe my own crunchy city girl ass. The book I'm following describes "organic modern" as raw, natural, and green with a new Asian influence. I do enjoy some of the more toned-down Asian decor styles, but I'l likely be mixing in more comfortably traditional pieces along the way. I don't need to worry so much about that right now, though. I'm more concerned about having a super clean home and figuring out what I need before I actually purchase anything.

As for a housewarming, I won't be having one. I'll have a BBQ to show off the re-styled digs at some point (probably next summer because I can't afford all the furniture we need before then!) but having an actual formal housewarming seems silly to me. We had one when we moved in. The only difference now would be that we're full-fledged adults with an actual sense of style and furniture that doesn't look like it belongs in a frat house.

I'll be back to regular posting now. I have some photos I'll want to share eventually and will be taking on some new activities soon. I'll be starting a side blog in a few weeks for a new year-long project I want to start, so stay tuned for that. Sorry I don't have anything more interesting to say today. I've just been engrossing myself in my house...and now I'm going to go engross myself in a dream or two while I wait for the super hot window repair man to show up.

The Home Cure

2011-03-30T12:21:00.000-07:00

I have always been a fan of the Apartment Therapy website, but have never taken the time to complete their home cure. It's an 8 week process that takes you step-by-step through either a deep treatment of your home or a one-room redesign. I borrowed the book from a friend and am taking the next 8 weeks to focus on cleaning up my home and cleaning up my life.

My home is in desperate need of the deep treatment. I absolutely LOVE my house. It's where I want Anna to grow up and return to for holidays between college semesters. It's where I want to live with Sergej until we're old and gray and have grand-kids stay the night. It's where I plan to come home after vacations and flip through maps and photo albums with friends. The bones of this house are amazing. Structurally, it's perfect. It's my home and I want it to be my home for a very long time. But, I'm not currently happy with it overall.

We have mountains of clutter. The flow does not work well for us. We have mismatched plates in the kitchen, bare windows everywhere, and no clear design concept. I want to come home and smile at the clean house I call mine. I want to be able to cozy up with a book in a corner and feel complete bliss. This just isn't happening yet. We still haven't even furnished our formal living room. This deep treatment is meant to hone in on our style and the places that need the most work (ahem, EVERY PLACE!) Really, I'm using this 8 week process mostly to push me to actually put the designs in my head into my home. I've known for a very long time what I want each room to look like, I just haven't started changing them. The house still has very much of the old owners in it. I've thrown some paint in the dining room, Anna's room and above our fireplace, but other than that the walls are all the same as the day we moved in. I have hung very little artwork or photographs. I've had a set of four frames hanging in place for at least 18 months now, but have failed to put any photos in them. I have no clue what I'm waiting for.

So, the next two months is for clearing out my house and cleaning it up in preparation for some big changes it is going to endure this summer and through the autumn. I've given up Facebook for the week (gasp!) and will likely start checking it only on weekends as time progresses and I get more physically involved in my surroundings. I'm excited for this process. I think cleaning our homes and changing them to reflect ourselves is therapeutic and a metaphor for the changes we are also undergoing.

If you'd like to follow along with the deep treatment in your own living space, then here is what you should accomplish this week:

Walk through your entire home and make a complete list of every repair that needs to be done (everything from replacing light bulbs to tightening cabinet hardware!)
Remove one item that you no longer use but still has value and give it away (use Craigslist or place it near your apartment's trash collection with a "Free" sign on it.)
Vacuum and mop all of the floors
Buy fresh flowers (you will do this step every week as a way of revitalizing yourself and your home)
Sit in a part of your home that you never sit in, and observe your surroundings for 10 minutes. Many of us have spots in our homes we've never even stood in. This will help you have a new perspective on your space and gain ideas for how you'd like it to look.
Look into earth-friendly cleaning products to cut down on chemicals in your home.

I will post my progress at the end of each week. If you follow along (and you can get more details on past cure via the Apartment Therapy website) then I'd love for you to share your progress with me. The comments section on this blog has been depressingly empty lately :) Happy curing!

Things I Absolutely Loved About This Week

2011-03-26T04:44:00.000-07:00

Massage! I can't believe it took me 27 years to have my first ever massage. Not making that mistake again.
A spa pedicure and manicure....seriously, another thing not to wait another 27 years for.
Picking Anna up from school only to hear all the kids scream, "Happy birthday!" when I walked in the room because Anna had been telling them ALL day that it was my birthday.
Red velvet cupcakes
Lunches with girlfriends
Having a husband know exactly what kind of gift to get me: a book about science!
My unbelievably adorable new Cheeky Lime camera bag that just arrived yesterday. Now I can carry my camera around with me without wrapping it in my purse or being subjected to carrying a man-bag.
A clean fridge and an open bottle of wine
The purple birdhouse Anna made. It's too shoddily put together to actually hold a bird, so it's hanging in our kitchen.
A single flower poking through the soil in our front yard.
Seeing Anna look at me every morning like I am one of the most amazing and intelligent people on the planet.
Thoughts of faraway places and nearby day trips, playing through my mind, enticing me to book a hotel....and I just might.

And We Continue With Indulgences...

2011-03-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

Today is the fourth day of my selfish week in celebration of my birthday and spring break and the first opportunity to spend an entire day living by my own schedule. Today was different, though. Today I indulged, but with a little company along for the ride. My little monkey, Anna, is a perfect companion for a trip to the mall. She always tells me I look beautiful, no matter what I try on. She picks the best desserts. And she's super portable!

Our special treat today? Cupcakes! I love cupcakes. Seriously, they're the world's most perfect dessert. The person that created them should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. In fact, I'm certain we could obtain world peace if instead of dropping bombs we'd just send cupcakes to everyone. We tried out Happy Cakes Bakery today, and I have to say it was marvelous! Here is our lovely assortment we took home:

Left to right, top to bottom: Cookies n' Cream, Vanilla on Vanilla, So Happy Together (chocolate with buttercream frosting), Black and White, Red Velvet (!!), and Peanut Butter

The red velvet was amazing! We will be going back. They make vegan varieties on select days of the week, so I'd like to try those out. Maybe a delicious vegan cupcake will help make my transition to veganism easier!

Anna had the Cookies n' Cream cupcake and then promptly slipped into a food coma for the ride home.

That girl right there shoving the cupcake in her mouth in my backseat? Yep, that's my best friend.

Day #3 of Selfish Week

2011-03-23T22:49:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday. Yes, it's true. I definitely milked as much as I could from it, too. I will try to post a few photos later, when I'm not feeling like a complete pile of goo. I started the day with an hour-long massage and have been fairly useless ever since!

After massages with my friends, Brooke and Sheri, we got lunch before clothes browsing (I say "browsing" because none of us ended up actually buying anything) and then on to eat some absolutely delicious frozen yogurt. The owner heard it was my birthday and, as a testament to my far-too-frequent frozen yogurt runs, she gave me my yogurt for free as a birthday gift.

Brooke and I had spa pedicures and manicures afterward, before I had to return to being a mother and pick up Anna from school. Sergej took me out to dinner and I fit a nap in before work. It was an excellent day by any standards, but most especially by the standards of someone that hasn't had a day to herself in entirely too long and has never once had a massage or manicure or pedicure. It was bliss, I tell you! Pure bliss! It was so enjoyable, in fact, that I purchased a membership to Massage Envy and will be indulging in an hour-long massage once per month every month for at least the next year.

Heck. Yes.

Edit: I just realized after re-reading this post that the entire first paragraph sounds like it was written by a less clever version of Dr. Seuss. My apologies!

Day #2 of Selfish Week

2011-03-22T14:57:00.000-07:00

Pregnant!

No, not me. Absolutely not me. No way, Jose! But a friend of mine from high school is. She lives in Hawaii and flew into town during the holidays, but between her and her husband's family there was little time to get together and do the couples portraits she wanted to have done. On that same trip out here she found out she was pregnant, though! We made plans to somehow fit maternity portraits into her busy schedule. We finally made it happen today!

She is in town until Thursday to visit family and score as much baby-related loot as possible from gushing family members, so we took the opportunity to hit the beach. Yep, we totally have a beach here. It may not be connected to an ocean, but it's a decent patch of sand at the edge of a (man-made) reservoir. There is a pretty skyline in the background and we even have seagulls! We spent some time catching up and roaming around the reservoir snapping photos. I think we both enjoyed ourselves and it was so nice to be in the company of someone from my past, swapping stories, talking about the future, and all that jazz. Here are a couple of shots of Bree from today (everyone loves a pregnant lady!)

While wandering through some brush and trees for a good spot to sit down, we came across some deer. At first it looked like there was just one standing amongst some fallen trees. But then those fallen trees started standing up, and then more and more deer started popping up. It was pretty incredible! They just looked at us as we looked at them. They kindly let me shoot some photos of them before we headed the other direction and let them enjoy the day without us as a distraction.

Today may not seem like it fits in with my "Week of Selfishness," but it absolutely does. I got to indulge in something I love doing for a couple hours. I got to take a walk around, see some critters, and snap photos of a beautiful friend.

Oh, I also rescued a dog today! He was lost, running through our neighborhood. He didn't have a phone number, address, or name on his collar, but I was able to find his owners information by tracking down his rabies vaccination info. He was just a little Shih Tzu named Nemo and I would hate for him to have been hit by a car. Nemo is now safely back at home. All in all it was an excellent first half of my day. I hope the second half is just as lovely!

My Selfish Spring Break

2011-03-21T07:51:00.000-07:00

I've never professed to be Supermom or The World's Greatest Wife. I have a range of skills that would allow me to become one or both of these things, but I just do what I need to to get by most of the time. I make sure my family is fed healthy and filling meals, but I don't stay on top of the laundry. I actually hate laundry more than any other chore in the house, but eventually we run out of underwear and socks and I have to do it (although I've been known to run to Target down the street to purchase my way out of laundry for a few more days.)

Why am I such a horrid housemate to my family? Well, because while I shoulder the burden of trying to keep things at home under control, I also work nights and am a full-time student. Not to mention the fact that I have a second job as an aid once a week for a disabled woman. Typically I just give myself a pass and remind myself that I'm only one person. As long as everyone is alive and healthy then that pile of clothes is not going to kill anybody. Even with skipping out on laundry, I'm very often incredibly busy. If I'm not at school or work, I'm either sleeping as much as possible (hint: not enough) or entertaining my four-year-old. After a while, this kind of schedule is enough to drive me clinically insane. But my sanity is about to get a much needed boost.

This week is my spring break. No class, check! But Anna is also in school Monday and Wednesday. Monday and Wednesday (my birthday) all to myself? Double check! But wait, there's more. Anna will also be in gymnastics camp for half of Tuesday and half of Friday. I just shit myself! Okay, not really, but I almost did. Do you people have any idea what this means? I get to do whatever I want for MOST of the week! I get to pretend I'm a bachelorette again and live on only a very flimsy schedule. This is most excellent! Here are a few more exclamation points to illustrate further just how excited I am!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, what do I plan to do? Honestly I am going to first catch up on cleaning. I know that doesn't sound all that great, but when I enter my home and it's clean and smells fresh I am happy. Cleaning is therapeutic and anyone that knows me can tell you I need a little therapy in my life. I have a dog training date this afternoon with a friend who just adopted a dog and needs some pointers (one of my skills) so I'm going to stop and get some vegan cupcakes before heading to her place.

The rest of the week will be full of walks, a massage, maternity portraits (a friend is preggers and in town from Hawaii, so perfect timing!) and sleeping lazily through the afternoon. I can't wait! Self-indulgence, here we go!

Breaking out the Big Boy

2011-03-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I received a new lens from a wonerfully fabulous friend of mine. It's a Pentax DA 55-300mm lens that looks oh-so-lovely attached to my Pentax DSLR. I'm sure that doesn't mean diddly squat to most of you (except my mom!) but basically I can get much better shots of far away objects, like animals at the zoo! Also, portraits shot with a focal length under 70mm tend to be a little distorted (although not always in a pronounced way.) So the addition of this lens to my bag of tricks meant I could start getting out and shooting objects in completely new ways!

Except I was entirely too busy to actually use the new lens. Sergej took it with him to Florida in November on his birthday trip and took some photos of the shuttle hanging out on its launch pad. It didn't actually take off until a few weeks ago due to endless complications, but he got some sweet photos of it on the ground.

This past week I finally got out with Anna and took a trip to the zoo with one of her friends in tow. Holy moly what a difference 245 millimeters can make! I have a 50-200mm lens, but it's completely manual so I don't take it along with me often. I usually stick to my 18-55mm. This new lens is basically my new pet now that I've gotten to take it out and test it. To be fair, I have taken a couple shots of the moon with it, but that's it. Here are a few photos from our trip to the zoo (these are low-res versions):

Have a lovely weekend! We're getting family portraits taken today near downtown dinner followed by a lovely dinner with friends at Pasquini's. Let Spring Break begin!

Glorious Free Time!

2011-03-17T16:37:00.000-07:00

Anna started back in preschool yesterday and already I can feel how wonderful life is about to get! Not that it hasn't been amazing up until this point, it's just that I don't really have anything closely resembling free time. Our house is often in shambles because I only have two hands and one body to get through my weekly schedule. But now! Now I will have FREE TIME!

Since Anna is going to be in preschool all day Mondays and Wednesday, I'll have those afternoons after class to myself. I can bum around, take a short hike, play around with my camera, or get things done around the house. In fact, my first order of business is my first ever thorough spring cleaning and I'm unnaturally excited about it.

My neighbor and I will be chatting next week about possibly still shuffling the kids between our two houses during the week so she can occasionally have a break, but that will probably take on the form of her having them Thursdays and me taking her son to my house on Tuesdays. So I'll get to sleep on Thursday mornings after work!!! This is too much excitement for me to handle. Just a moment while I sit down and regain my composure....

Okay, I'm fine now. Anna is so incredibly happy to be back in school. She thrives in social settings. This new setup also gives she and I more quality time together the rest of the week when I'm not having to get other things done. We've already made it to the zoo for the first time in months and stayed for four hours. This is going to be a great spring.

Awkward

2011-03-10T22:57:00.000-08:00

It was an incredibly beautiful day today, so Anna and I spent the bulk of it outside. After a round of mini golf and a delicious lunch together at Red Robin, we hit the park. We frequent a park not far from my house because it's got plenty of open grassy areas for kite flying or soccer, a baseball field, tennis courts, basketball courts, and a pretty fantastic playground. Anna loves the play time. I love sitting under a tree and studying while she's happily tiring herself out.

Today was different. As soon as we arrived at the playground I saw a familiar face, one I haven't seen in about 9 years or so. It was the face of my former stepfather. How awkward is that!? And he was standing right next to the sandbox, which is arguably Anna's most favorite thing in the world. I shuffled Anna toward the bigger of the two playgrounds and told her the sandbox was too full and we could play on it later. Well, that back fired when she started playing with two little girls whose father happened to be a coworker of my ex-stepdad. As they chatted, I let Anna in on the great news that the sandbox was available and shuffled her back to the other side of the play area. Yep, I'm incredibly mature!

After much hiding my face and moving around to places he couldn't see me, Travis began leaving with his son. I decided if I didn't say hello I might regret it, so I followed and shouted his name. It took him a few moments to realize who I was and then we just stood there making awkward small talk for ten minutes or so.

It was one of the stranger experiences I've had so far this year. I never expected to see him again, let alone at a park right by my house...and with an 8 year old son. He looks exactly the same as I remember him. It was incredibly weird seeing him with a son. He was a father figure in my life for so long and yet I haven't seen him since high school when he and my mother divorced. We exchanged phone numbers, but we likely won't ever get together. Besides the fact that we have completely separate lives now, I'm sure his wife would feel uncomfortable with the whole situation.

So, to wrap it up, it was an afternoon full of awkwardness and discomfort! And I got zero studying done!

More Changes Coming

2011-03-09T23:28:00.000-08:00

I haven't watched my neighbor's son at all this week because he's been sick, and even though it caused me some issue this morning with having to find an alternative for Anna while I ran to my biology lab it has been wonderful getting the extra time with her alone.

I've been anxious to get Anna back into preschool for a few weeks now, while Anna has wanted to go back since the day we took her out. Putting her in preschool while I'm in class means no more obligations to watch other children on my days off as part of a trade deal. It sounds strange that putting Anna in early preschool will actually give us more time together, but it will. So, as soon as I know for sure that my darling husband survived the contract period at his new job and gets to stay on for good, Anna will be headed back to the school she misses so dearly.

My hope for this spring and summer is to take it easy. I'd like a break from the chaos that has become my life to just enjoy my surroundings and my family again. I will likely still take a class or two in the summer, but plan on taking at least one of them online. On the days Anna is in school I'll get to spend some time working on making my home more beautiful, actually getting out and doing some for-fun photography, and hiking!

Oh, how I miss hiking. Last summer was the first summer I did hardly any (which may have been a contributing factor to my weight gain.) Up until then Anna was either not in our lives or was small enough that I could carry her in a pack on my hikes. Now she's at an age where she's much too large to carry on my back up a mountain, but too little to get up most hikes on her own. We have a hike that we do together that she's pretty good at completing by herself, but it's no longer challenging for me, so I am very much looking forward to being able to hit the trails and breathe in some mountain air on my own. What's the point of living so close to the Rockies if I don't take advantage of them, right!?

With the little changes I'm making now, it looks like the warm weather this year is not only going to lift my spirits, but also bring on the good times! Now if only I could convince Sergej to buy me a new bike...

Family Time

2011-03-04T23:26:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be looking for ways to rearrange my schedule soon so that I can spend more quality time with my family. I always knew that I couldn't carry on the way I have been forever. Between work and school and watching other people's kids I have a minimal amount of time to focus solely on the two people that mean the most to me in the world. Anna and Sergej are everything to me and I want to be able to connect with them both more than just a couple times per week. So, in the next few weeks I'll be looking at my options to make family time happen more often.

Until then, I'm just going to savor the few moments I can. Today I took Anna to lunch and, by a happy turn of events, Sergej was able to meet us. It's apparent how much Anna truly loves spending time with both of us at once. Anytime we're all together and able to just enjoy one another's company she is all smiles. She is a happy child normally, but get us all together and she is beaming.

We went to Pasquini's, which is a restaurant I recommend to anyone in the Metro Denver area. They have several locations, though I've only been to the one located in the Tech Center. They give the kids balls of raw pizza dough to play with while they wait for their food and everything is made from scratch. There are options for every kind of eater on the menu and so far everything I've tried has been delicious. It's certainly a place Anna enjoys visiting! And if Anna is happy, I'm happy.

2011-03-03T05:51:00.001-08:00

I'm back from vacation and Anna and I are recovering. We had more fun than I can recount right here and right now, but all in due time. For now, I'm off to try to fit in a nap!

I'm on Vacation!

2011-02-26T18:00:00.000-08:00

**I'm writing this post on Thursday, but it is scheduled to actually post on the blog Saturday after the surprise has been revealed!

At 2am on Saturday morning, I will be loading Anna up, picking up two girlfriends, and hitting the highway (nope, Sergej isn't coming.) I received an invitation to my uncle's 50th birthday party a few weeks ago and told him that I sadly would not be able to make it. Their house is only an 8 hour drive away in Utah, but with school, work, wifery, and mommy duties I told my uncle I'd try to visit for a weekend in the summer if I took a semester off classes.

Ever since I told my uncle I wasn't coming I have been conniving with my Aunt to plan my trip out there. I spoke with my professors and got all of my school work and quizzes done early in anticipation of missing two days of class. As of this writing I still have to get an oil change, new snow pants and boots for Anna, and do some last minute packing, but the ball is in motion!

We'll be getting to their house (hopefully) around noon on Saturday. My uncle has absolutely no clue we're coming and we are hoping my aunt will succeed in getting him out of the house so we can get settled and be waiting for him in his living room once he gets home. My grandparents are already there and another uncle of mine is going to try to make the drive through the snow from the San Francisco area. I am so excited to see my family and for two of my good friends to get to meet them!

We will be in Utah until Tuesday morning. I'll be bringing both of my cameras and will try to get out and take photos of their surroundings (because they're in a beautiful location) but I may not post again until Wednesday after I'm home and settled back into my daily chaotic routine. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I know I will!! By the way, my aunt and uncle happen to own a bar in Utah county....so you know I'll be having a good time!

Are You a Warrior?

2011-02-24T11:48:00.000-08:00

If you've been paying attention to the side bar of this blog, you'll notice I've lost 20 lbs this year. It's not the amount I thought I'd have lost by this time, but it's better than gaining weight, right? With my schedule and lifestyle, it's extremely easy to gain weight (I gained about 35 pounds last year) and my body is just in horrible shape from the lack of sleep, lack of any free time whatsoever to hit anything resembling a gym, and munching on foods to stay awake. So, I'll take what I can get.

I started the year off incredibly motivated. After all, if I lose the highest percentage of weight out of my coworkers I get $650 to spend on new clothes. That's perfect motivation for a woman! However, it seems that isn't enough now. I'm in the midst of my Spring semester at school, I watch my neighbor's son two days a week, and I still work the graveyard shift at my place of employment. It's really hard to tell myself that the workout will be worth it when my elliptical sits next to my king-size bed covered with ultra soft blankets and fluffy pillows. And my fat ass cat just lays there sprawled out staring and purring at me.

With all of that said, it's time to find a new source of motivation. I made a promise to myself that this was the summer I'd get back into a swimsuit in public without feeling ashamed. I have also made a pact with a photographer friend to pose for a pinup-style shoot in June, so I HAVE to look good. I think I may have found a good source of motivation. In August, the Warrior Dash is coming back to Colorado (Copper Mountain Ski Resort to be exact.) It's a 3.5 mile obstacle course through mountain terrain. It looks like an incredible amount of fun! It's a bunch of people wearing fuzzy viking hats making their way over hay bails and hills and through mud....and it's timed! I want to to do it. So, I'm going to start training with that race in mind. The sign-up deadline is near the end of July, but I think I might sign up much earlier than that so that I can't back out. Hubby is up for it I think, so it could be a fun little romantic weekend in the mountains for us :) What's more romantic than getting sweaty and filthy together, and then being too tired to even think the rest of the day? Nothing!

A Letter to My Younger Self

2011-02-19T04:58:00.000-08:00

After reading this blog post from the lovely Brooke Summer I got to thinking about what I would write in a letter to my younger self if I had the chance. It's so tough to decide. Certainly there are mistakes and tragedies I wish I had never experienced, but those very experiences are what led me to where I am right now. The path could have been a lot easier, my job could be more ideal, my house could be a lot bigger, and I could be a lot thinner. But I'd have to give up a lot of wonderful things in exchange for a life that seems easier to the outsider. Nobody gets to have it all. That's why we have kids, in the hopes that we can pass on a little wisdom to a younger version of ourselves and maybe make life better for following generations. If I look back at my family tree, I think all of the women in my lineage would agree that they did the best they could to give their daughters the tools they needed to make better decisions and improve upon their lives, even just a little.

If I had to write a letter to myself, I would write it to myself somewhere around the age of 10 or so. That seems to be the last completely carefree year most girls experience. Shortly after turning 10 comes the peer pressures of middle school, puberty, first dates, fights with girlfriends, and a whole slew of other pressures. My letter would go something like this:

Dear Tirzha,
You are beginning a journey of self-discovery that will probably never end. You may never fully know who you want to be or what wonderful things you can accomplish, but never stop trying to find those answers. Believe in how beautiful and wonderful you and every other young woman is. Believe in your own power to make changes in the world around you, big or small.

As you go through life you are going to hit some bumps and potholes in the road. Occasionally you'll even have to get out of the car so that you can climb over the mountain that's blocking your path. Remember that the obstacles are temporary. Setbacks are only as big as you let them be and with the right attitude everything will seem a little more manageable.

Don't hide who you are or give up on yourself just to "fit in." I have news for you kid: You're never going to fit in completely. You will always feel awkward in some way. You'll say the right thing at the wrong time or vice versa. You'll struggle to connect with most people on a deep and meaningful level, but will be left with a few friendships that mean so much to you that you won't care about the missed possibilities in others. You're goofy and always will be, so the sooner you make peace with that the better!

Enjoy your youth. As soon as adulthood comes, it will invade swiftly in the night. One day you'll wake up and wonder what happened. So, enjoy being young and having few responsibilities. Savor the sleepovers and girl talk and crushes on classmates. Enjoy that quick-as-lightening metabolism while it lasts!

Most importantly, love yourself. You cannot fully love anyone else if you don't love yourself. Take stock of yourself and how great you are and you'll be happier for it. You have a lot of dark times coming, but even more bright times. Just remember that. When things seems unbearable, there's a happy day right around the corner and all will feel right again.

You are loved.

Go Away, Winter

2011-02-17T09:30:00.000-08:00

Things are going so well right now for us over here. Sergej loves his job, Anna is such an easy child to parent and always so happy, I'm doing great in school, and it looks like we might actually be able to build our savings back up this year after two years of depleting it.

I'm going to try very hard to ignore the feeling that this could all come crumbling down at any moment like a house of cards. The weather is warm and I'm excited about longer days and picnics in the park, drives through the mountains, flying our kite, and seeing all the ducklings at the pond.

Here's a photo I took a while back in San Diego. There aren't any flowers blooming around here yet, but I can't wait until there are. Once Spring is in full swing, I know I'll stop worrying so much.

Tickling the Ivories

2011-02-13T17:15:00.000-08:00

Actually, I don't do any tickling of the ivories. The only songs I ever learned to play on the piano are Chopsticks (which I have since forgotten) and Mary Had a Little Lamb. Oh, I think I could remember Hot Cross Buns if push came to shove and my life depended on it.

I have been looking at pianos for about two years now. Sergej and I very much want Anna to take musical lessons of some sort and we have heard from several people that it's best to start with the piano, as everything else is easier if piano is learned first. Something about learning the foundations of music and basics and blah blah blah. I really don't understand the groundwork for music. I just like listening to the finished product. I admit I wish I could pick up any instrument and play it without seeming to break a sweat (we have a friend with a music degree or two that can literally play any instrument placed in front of him) but I'm clumsy and don't have very elegant hands.

It seems pianos are hard to hand off to other people these days. Nobody wants to deal with hiring a company to move it to their home or any of the other expenses involved. There are free pianos popping up on Craigslist every week and I've always wanted to scoop one up for our living room (the room in our house that has yet to be furnished and could use something, anything to make it seem less empty!)

Finally we went for it. I got a phone call from someone I had emailed regarding a free piano they had available. The piano was located at a school that needed it out ASAP to make room for their new piano in time for a talent show this week. We took a leap of faith and rented a truck, drove the 40 minutes to the school, and in one instant Anna fell in love with the piano. Of course we took it. She is so incredibly happy to have a real piano in her house. It's not perfect, but it's going to work for us for quite a while. It's a 1947 Knabe upright. It's black, which is great because I'd have to paint it to match my imaginary furniture if it wasn't. It was tuned not too long ago and is in reasonable shape. We'll have someone look at it before the end of the year to get it ready for when Anna starts taking lessons, but until then she has her very own piano to pound out little diddies on. She has been making up songs all afternoon. I know I'll have a headache from it sooner or later, but right now I'm just enjoying how happy we made her for the price of a truck rental and some gas.

About That Schedule...

2011-02-09T16:40:00.000-08:00

Last night I sat in my room cramming for a test for my college algebra class. I had a headache and growing stress levels. I haven't taken a math class since high school and feel like a lost puppy when looking at the textbook for the class. How did I pass the placement exam to qualify for this level!? I really need a basic algebra class to get up to speed on things.

After studying for an hour or so, I flipped open my laptop and logged into my online account for school. Then I stared at the withdraw menu and contemplated for a good half an hour. I consulted Sergej and voiced my conflicting feelings on the subject of dropping a class that I know I'm not ready to take. Sergej is brilliant and algebra is a walk in the park for him. For me, not so much. I know I could easily get an A in the class if I had time to prepare, but life is too busy to be adequately prepared right now. After much mulling about on the subject, I clicked "Withdraw" next to the listing for College Algebra.

Ahhhh, instant relief! I thought I would feel guilty or feel that I failed myself for dropping the class, but I feel so much better now! I still have two classes and a lab to attend, but just dropping that one class is going to free up so much time for me. I actually get to fit some sleep in before working on Wednesday nights now, and I can spend time with my family on Monday nights. I'm not going to have to look at my textbook like a deer in headlights anymore!

Sergej is going to tutor me in algebra for the remainder of the semester and give me weekly "homework" that he will check. My plan is to register for the class in the summer so that I may better prepare myself for this daunting task before then. If I continued with the class this semester, I'd be lucky to receive a B. Hopefully taking the time to get reacquainted with the subject of algebra will lead to a much easier A in the summer.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself now that a few hours have opened up for me each week. Probably dance in my underwear BECAUSE I CAN!

The Healing Power of Fur

2011-02-08T06:29:00.000-08:00

I have always had pets. I can't remember a time in my life that there wasn't a critter or two roaming around nearby. Anna, it seems, will be growing up in much the same way. Our current brood includes two cats (TJ and Parker) and a dog (Sasha) that we accumulated before Anna was born. Anna has a new fish that she got two days ago after her previous beta, Duck, died of old age. Her new beta is white and named Cheese. I tried really hard to convince her to name the fish Sushi, but she was having none of that. I suppose Cheese is an equally quirky name.

After Anna was born, our pets sort of fell down the priority list by quite a few spots. As mentioned in my last blog post, things are quite busy around here. There isn't a lot of time for doting on three animals (I highly doubt the fish would know whether he was being doted on or not, so he's not included in this discussion.) Between the schoolwork, the motherhood duties, keeping house, and holding down a job that actually pays me something, I'm exhausted

Lately I've started feeling really badly about this and am trying to give a little one-on-one attention to each of my pets every day. The effort is well worth it. Laying on my bed curled up next to a cat that expects nothing more than food in his dish and water to drink is such a calming feeling. Sasha, our boxer-Rhodesian ridgeback mix, is the most loving and forgiving dog ever. She doesn't care that we don't go for hour-long walks (not that she would want to, because she's also quite lazy.) She just wants to be acknowledged now and then and to stare at me with her ridiculously sad looking face.

My pets are loving, gentle, and humorous. They are all rescue animals (except the fish!) and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Without them, I wouldn't have that little unexpected dose of humor in my life every day.... like opening my closet to find a cat nestled in amongst my shoes or being prevented from studying by a highly jealous housemate.

I adore them.

Unconventional

2011-02-06T05:26:00.000-08:00

Another week has escaped me. Life has always felt like it moves fast, but since this semester started I can hardly keep track of what day it is. Sunday comes around and I get a chance to breathe before I ask myself what happend to the previous six days of the week.

I miss my family. Sergej and I see one another almost entirely in passing these days. I get plenty of time with Anna, and so does Sergej, but we get very little time together as a family unit. Here's a breakdown of my schedule:

Sunday:

7:30am - Return from work. Take nap. Spend day with family

Monday:

8:00am - Drop Anna off at neighbor's and head to class.
11:30am - Return home from class. Pick up Anna and stop by work for weekly weigh-in
2:00pm - Homeschool Anna and friend's son
5:00pm - Drop Anna at friend's house and head to class (Sergej picks Anna up shortly after.)
8:30pm - Return home from class, exhausted.

Tuesday:

8:30am - Neighbor's son comes over
1:30pm - Neighbor picks son up
5:30pm - Head to second job for 1-2 hours
8:00pm - Return home, exhausted

Wednesday:

Repeat of Monday
10:30pm - Head to work

Thursday

7:30am - Return from work
8:30am - Neighbor's son comes over
1:30pm - Neighbor picks son up
5:45pm - Go to bed after Sergej gets home
10:30pm - Head to work.

Friday

7:30am - Return from work, try to get an hour nap before Anna wakes up
This is a free day for Anna and I. Usually it is spent running errands, playing, shopping. etc.
5:45pm - Go to bed.
10:30pm - Head to work

Saturday

7:30am - Return from work, take short nap
9:00am - Head to class
1:30pm - Return from class and try to spend a small amount of time with family before succumbing to fatigue...then sleep the rest of the day
10:30 - Head to work

So you see, my schedule sucks.Sometimes Sergej will shave off his beard or get his hair cut and I won't notice for days. Sometimes he'll come home from work and have a story he wants to tell me and I just feel like crying because all I want is to crawl into bed after being awake for 36 hours straight, but then I feel bad for not wanting to hear about his day. There is a careful balance that goes into running our lives right now. It's not quite as fragile as a house of cards, but it feels close sometimes.

I'm not complaining, really. I'm just explaining how complicated things are for us sometimes. Sometimes I don't return phone calls. I have to turn down last-minute invites 98% of the time. I don't always do things I promised I would do. I forget whether or not I passed on information I should have. To the outside world, I am forgetful and scatterbrained. But my family sees me as someone helping hold it all together and my school sees me as someone who would be considered an excellent student even without all the extra going on in my life. Those are the things that matter to me right now. In a couple years this will be completely behind me and I'll be able to laugh and marvel at how I made it through intact, without keeling over from a heart attack. It will be so worth it. I'll have fewer people by my side than when I started this journey, but at least I'll know they're the most understanding among the bunch.

I don't really know what the point to this post was. It's 4 o'clock in the morning and I don't really know what the point is to anything at this awful hour. Since my crazy schedule was what was on my mind, that is what was written about! :) Have a wonderful SuperBowl Sunday....I don't care who wins. I'm only going to be watching the commercials.

Seeing Red

2011-02-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

Since I vowed to let my hair grow out this year, I had to come up with another way of satisfying my need for an occasional change to my look. So, on Tuesday night, I spontaneously opted for giving it an auburn hue. I think I might stick with this for a while. Until I get bored again that is.

Disadvantages of Being Tall

2011-01-31T12:35:00.000-08:00

I can't remember ever being shorter than my older brother. I know I once was, because there are pictures to prove it. But for as long as I can remember, I was his big little sister. I've been taller than my mother since 5th or 6th grade (possibly earlier?) and have been taller than almost every classmate I've ever had through elementary and middle school. Finally in high school I found some tall peers, but it was a long road to get there.

I used to hate my height. Once puberty kicked in and my hormones were raging, I despised the fact that I towered over every boy I came into contact with. My first real boyfriend was three inches shorter than me. I was 14, he was 16. We are still friends and our height difference has only become more pronounced over time. Those early school dances were awkward, especially if I chose to wear heels (and of course I did because ballet flats weren't in style at the time...and even if they were I still would have opted for heels. Because they're better.)

Eventually I learned to embrace my height. I got onto the volleyball team on height alone (skill definitely wasn't a factor.) I had never played before high school, I couldn't serve to save my life, and suddenly I was picked for the A team and feeling like a sham. But it was nice that my height was valued. By the time my junior and senior year rolled around, most of the boys' balls had finally dropped and they caught up to me vertically. Yes, height was a good thing I decided. I could reach things on shelves without dragging over a chair. I could see over heads at the theater or concerts. Yeah, I liked it.

Now I'm back to reconsidering my love affair with my height. Sure, being tall is kind of nice now and then. But shopping for pants sucks. Add in the fact that I need to lose quite a few more pounds to hit my goal weight and shopping for pants triple sucks. The thing with being tall is, 5 pounds up or down on the scale makes zero difference in the way my clothes fit. I have to either lose or gain two or three times that amount to start noticing anything is askew.

I've lost just over 18 pounds since December 27th. That's 3.64 pounds per week for 5 weeks. That's awesome! Except that I'm tall and it barely changes my pant size. Grumble. All I can do is keep trucking along. That's a pretty amazing amount of weight to lose in a little more than a month, so I'm happy. I'll be really happy if next month proves just as fruitful in the weight loss department. But you know what will make me really happy? If I could actually tell someone how much weight I've lost without them eyeing me up and down in disbelief because I look the exact same size.

Saturdays Should Come With Free Coffee

2011-01-29T00:18:00.000-08:00

As I sit at work and Friday turns into Saturday, I wonder to myself, "Why, oh why, did I sign up for a Saturday class?" I get off work at 7am and have a Macroeconomics class at 10am. My brilliant self reasoned that I could fit a short nap between work and school. I tried out my brilliant idea last Saturday, the very first day of class. I failed miserably.

When Sergej nudged me at 9 o'clock so that I could drowsily drive to school, I told him to go away. I used some choice words to express my feelings about having class on a Saturday morning and followed it up with, "I am SO dropping that class!" Three hours later I woke up and came to my senses, disappointed in myself for loving sleep so much. I'm not dropping the class. I can't, really.

So I emailed my professor to find out what work I missed and promised to be timely and smiling for the next class session. I'm so glad there is a Starbuck's on every street corner in Denver.

A Very Grownup Birthday

2011-01-27T00:19:00.000-08:00

I mentioned before that Sergej and I decided not to throw a birthday party for Anna this year. The holiday season was quite chaotic this time around (even more so than usual) and inviting a bunch of children over, decorating, baking, and cleaning up just wasn't something I was thrilled about doing. Luckily, Anna is still young enough to not really care as long as she gets to rip up some wrapping paper.

We opted to take Anna to Dave and Buster's (like Chuck E. Cheese for grownups!) and invite a few friends to join us. The entire party consisted of six adults and the birthday girl. I gotta tell ya, it was the most enjoyable birthday party I could ever imagine. I didn't suffer any child-induced anxiety attacks, I had no clean-up to deal with, the adults didn't have to all tend to children wanting to have eight separate conversations, and we were able to stay together as a group on the game floor after eating because adults are easy to please. Anna was doted on and she was given everyone's prize tickets. She walked away with a giant boxing glove, an over-sized dodge ball, dress-up jewelry, candy, a football, and a smile plastered across her face.

She slept so well Sunday night and I was blissfully aware of what wonderful friends I have to share this life with. I couldn't ask for anything better and I'm so glad Anna gets to grow up among amazing people.

The crew racing horses.

Smooth Sailing Ahead

2011-01-24T11:17:00.000-08:00

I'm entering my second week of the Spring semester and it feels like this will be a good one. I am absolutely stoked about my second-year Biology class. It's all evolution and dissection and biodiversity and just really cool stuff. It gets my heart pumping and my inner geek going! Okay, so maybe my inner geek isn't really all that much of an "inner" character. Just humor me and let's pretend I'm not completely socially inept and nerdy, mmmkay? Thanks!

The only class I'm slightly worried about is College Algebra. I know it should be simple, but I haven't taken a math class in 9 years. I can't remember these formulas and concepts and I'm stuck in a room full of 18 and 19 year olds that just took this very same class last year in their high school. I somehow scored too high on the math placement test, so the school won't let me take an introductory or intermediate level class. What the what?! I really LOVE and stress the wisdom of taking an introductory course on subjects in which one is lacking knowledge or has been separated from a particular subject by time. I know with physics and chemistry the introductory courses will prove to be invaluable. But apparently I'm too "smart" to take the intro courses for algebra. That's bunk! I feel like an idiot flipping through my text book and listening to the instructor ramble off x's and y's and coefficients and factors and blah blah blah! This is one I'm going to have to work twice as hard on and stay ahead of the class with. I'm confident I'll achieve the A I want and need, but it's going to take a lot more work to get it.

I am going to be much busier this semester with juggling kids back and forth and taking evening classes, but the month off from school gave me the boost in energy I needed. Taking classes year-round with never more than a week or two off gets tough! This will be my last year at CCD, so I'm just going to enjoy it while I can. Next year it's on to CUDenver and tougher classes!

Adventures in Fondant

2011-01-21T23:05:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows I love to bake. LOVE it. Like a fat kid loves cake. And any stranger that sees me on the street (you know, because I frequent the streets) would say, "Look at the thighs and buttocks of that one! She must love to bake!" And it's oh-so-true.

I have made Anna's birthday cakes for two of the last three birthdays (last year I caved and purchased commercial cakes due to lack of time) and I wanted this year to be no exception. I asked her what kind of cake she wanted for her birthday and she very decisively told me that she would like none other than a confetti cake. Okay. That's doable. What flavor would she like? Confetti. What the? I always bake our cupcakes and bundts from scratch, but I wasn't about to go through the trouble of making the batter just to dump a bunch of sprinkles in it when I could go get the box of confetti mix at the store for a freaking dollar. My kid may be cute, but she has a bit of refining to do with her taste buds. I have a hunch she just likes the picture of the dough boy on the box. Oh, and all those artificial colors.

We went to the store and bought her silly little box of confetti cake mix about a week ago and since then I've been pondering exactly how I'm going to decorate this cake. I couldn't just frost it and toss multi-colored sprinkles at it, certainly not after buying commercial cake mix! I had to come up with something better to make me feel like I put a little effort in this year. Aha! Fondant!

Fondant is a pliable frosting that is basically made of sugar, liquid sugar, a tiny bit of flavoring, and more sugar. I've only had commercial varieties that come in a giant plastic tub and taste like sugar-coated cardboard. Gross. It looks awesome and tastes terrible. If I was going to make a fondant-covered cake, I wanted to make my own ball of moldable sugar! Anna and I went to the craft store and bought some super-fancy cake decorating supplies and headed home for four hours of mixing, pouring, more mixing, kneading, rolling, coloring, cutting, and decorating.

It was worth it. Anna is so excited about her confetti cake, and she has started a list of other cakes I should make her (good luck on that one, kid.) I must say, I'm pretty proud of my creation. For the first time ever decorating with fondant and making it from scratch to boot, this is a half-decent job! It has a white chocolate filling and the fondant is almond flavored. We may not be throwing Anna a traditional birthday party this year (more on that later) but there will be cake. You bet your fat bottom there will be cake!

How Quickly Four Years Go By

2011-01-20T04:43:00.000-08:00

Today is the anniversary of the most painful day of my life. It's also the anniversary of the day I met the most wonderful person I will ever have the privilege of knowing. Four years ago today, my little Anna Banana was born and Sergej and I embarked together on the journey of parenthood. It's amazing how a period of time can feel so long and yet so brief at the same time. I can remember the day Anna was born like it was just a few months ago, and here we are now, with a little girl that can name the planets and read the word buffalo and add and subtract.

It's hard to describe the intense love I feel for Anna. Anyone with children probably knows exactly what I mean, but if you don't have kids it's really very difficult to understand the bond and lasting connection that is formed when you have a baby and then watch that baby grow into a beautiful little girl. Anna makes life beautiful simply by being in it. She is perfect.

Happy birthday, my sweet princess.

Academia

2011-01-18T10:09:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow begins a new semester for me in my quest to receive my degree and teaching licensure. I'm not looking forward to it, surprisingly. Up until now I've been so excited about school, but last semester was pretty demotivating. One of my professors was extremely unorganized, another was extremely apathetic to his duties as an educator, and the last was kind and intelligent but extremely inexperienced as a teacher. I received my very first B last semester. I worked hard to keep a 4.0, and then it was taken right out from under me by a single measly percentage point. The B was in Basic Chemistry, which I don't actually need for my degree. I was taking it to fill the gap in my schedule and to get me up-to-speed before I take Chemistry I. Still, it's disheartening. I tried reminding myself that half the class got D's or F's, but it doesn't help. I want to graduate Summa cum laude from the University of Colorado, so I've got my work cut out for me.

I will be taking a Biology II class and lab on Monday and Wednesday mornings as well as an Algebra class on the same evenings. Saturday I have the joy of sitting through Macroeconomics! I had originally registered for an online class in addition to these, but I dropped when I learned I wouldn't be getting tuition assistance from my employer this semester. Oy, more early mornings and late nights on the horizon. Grumble.

ETA: I forgot to mention I lost over 6 pounds last week! I don't know how that happened, but heck yes!

Two Weeks' Notice

2011-01-15T01:21:00.000-08:00

My darling husband graduated in December with a degree in Computer Science and a minor in Mathematics. He's been on the job hunt since and recently received an offer that he couldn't pass up. In two weeks he'll be leaving his internship at the National Renewable Energy Laboratories in Golden and moving on to something much closer to home with much better pay.

The catch is it's a contract-to-hire. He has two months to prove himself to the company after which they'll either hire him or send him back to the job listings. I have confidence in him. He is committed, intelligent, and hard-working. I know he'll do well. But just in case, send out your happy thoughts to him. We really need this.

Food, food, food...

2011-01-14T00:05:00.000-08:00

Everyone has something they struggle with, and for me it is food. I love the taste of food, the smell of food, the texture of food when I bite into it. I love cooking and baking and creating feasts. I love food that I can feel good about purchasing: organic fruits and vegetables, humanely produced eggs and meats, hormone-free cheeses and milk. I love entertaining. With food. And once a week, every week, we host a game night in our home for which I make some form of ...yep, food.

Basically, I have a slight addiction to food. This does not mesh well with my weight-loss efforts. My brain says, "Have a snack!" My ass says, "For the love of all things sacred, put down the box of Triscuits!" I'm trying to get it under control, though. It's so ingrained in me that this is bound to be a lifelong effort.

I have armed myself with alternatives so that I can still get my snack on while staying within my daily calorie limit. I want to keep losing weight and never look back. I want to enjoy summers by the water with Anna without having to hide myself under a sundress rather than frolicking in the sand in a swimsuit (oh yes, there will be frolicking.)

Here are my top choices for curbing my sweet and salty cravings throughout the day:

Sweet

Jell-O sugar-free cups - 10 calories! I get an assortment of flavors to throw into my lunch bag for work or outings with Anna
Jell-O Mousse Temptations - 60 calories and a good occasional treat for certain days that I have to have chocolate
Bananas - 75-100 calories. Seriously, I can't get enough of them.
Hot tea. I drink a LOT of this stuff and always have several flavors on hand. I either sweeten it with Apriva or Organic Agave Nectar. Either way, very few calories and it helps me keep up my water intake.
Clementines - 35 calories. Plus they're adorable AND delicious. You can't beat that!

Salty

Carrots, broccoli, snow peas, etc dipped in Kraft Light Balsamic Vinaigrette. The dressing has only 25 calories per serving while the veggies only have 30-50 calories per cup.
Garden Lites Zucchini Marinara - 110 calories, all natural, delicious.
Light String Cheese - 50 calories and gives me a little protein boost after a workout.
Plain popcorn - 30-60 calories depending on method. I pop mine the old fashioned way on the stove. Then salt and pepper to taste. This counts as a whole grain, too. Bonus!

I have replaced my regular milk with rice milk (for cereals, coffee, etc.) and I eat as little cheese as I can. Chocolate and cheese are my ultimate weaknesses! I am hoping to go 90% vegan by summer, so I have a few months to work out the details of how I'm going to survive without these staples. The real trick will be not wanting to strangle my poor husband when I don't have a good vegan chocolate on hand during a chocolate attack.

I added a weight loss gadget to the right-hand column of this blog and will update the number each Monday. So far I've lost 9.6 pounds since the last Monday of December. I have a long way to go, but I'm hoping I can hold myself accountable this time around. We're hoping to go to Lithuania again in September and I'd like to not stand out as the fat American :)

Life Has No PAUSE Button

2011-01-11T12:31:00.000-08:00

I don't think things will ever slow down. Part of me is glad, because I never really have a chance to get bored. The other part of me wants to savor the days at a slower pace because each day passed is a day of Anna's life I won't ever get to enjoy again. With all that has happened in the last week, I want more than ever to just enjoy my little sugar plum fairy as much as I can. She is growing up far too fast for my liking. But, we must all trudge along. Lingering on yesterday makes us miss too much of today. So, here I go. Moving on.

This marks mine and Anna's second week of homeschooling. This time I am armed with actual curriculum books! We are also getting a classmate this week! Anna is very excited about this. My friend's son will be joining us a couple days a week for lessons in the afternoon...which means I have a sitter to call on if I ever need one for Anna. Win-Win! Anna is currently prancing around the house chanting Anthony's name because she is so excited to have a peer in our basement classroom.

Yesterday was my second weigh-in at work for our 13-week Biggest Loser challenge. I lost 4 pounds! That's excellent news! The bad news is someone else lost 8 pounds and there is a $500 prize on the line. Time to step it up a bit. The final prize is awarded to the loser with the highest percentage of weight loss. I'm not sure who is participating and what their weights started at, but I'm just going to push for excellence and hope for the best. Mama needs a new camera. And some new clothes by the time this is over ;)

I am hoping to get some shooting done this week. If I do I'll have some photos of our gorgeous snow to post. It was down to -10 degrees Fahrenheit last night, so we'll see how those grand plans pan out. Until then...

Time Conscious

2011-01-07T03:53:00.000-08:00

Under normal circumstances I'd be complaining right now about how I found out last night that I won't be getting tuition assistance this semester from my employer due to a lag while they restructure the program. That's $1000 I won't be getting. But then that $1000 doesn't seem like much when little Caden left the world yesterday and I found out a cousin of mine also passed away.

Life is strange. And beautiful. And strangely beautiful. So when a person's life is cut short and they are gone well before their proper time to go, I get sentimental and filled with sorrow. I hold onto my husband and my sweet little girl tighter and tighter as the years go by because each day is a wonder that I don't want to take advantage of anymore.

A friend of mine passed along the following quote by Asa Bushnell ZuTavern: "If, before going to bed every night, you will tear a page from your calendar and remark, 'There goes another day of my life, never to return,' you will become time conscious." Let's all strive to live that way. I know I will.

Caden Needs a Miracle

2011-01-06T04:56:00.000-08:00

I was going to write this morning about how much I'm hating my hair and that I want to grow it out and blah blah blah. Then I heard a story about a little boy. This little boy is the son of a woman I played volleyball with in high school. She and I ate lunch together, went to prom in the same group, had sleepovers, and shared secrets. We were very good friends and then drifted apart as our lives headed down different paths. We've remained connected through mutual friends and I've met her little boy on several occasions.

This little boy, from what I hear, needs a medical miracle. I am uncertain of the details of the case, but the two-and-a-half-year-old boy is currently on life support. At least, that is what I was told at 4pm yesterday. He had received trauma to the head while his mother was at work (things I won't speculate on, but these very things have landed a man behind bars pending charges.) He received brain surgery and was given a very poor and short prognosis by doctors. My thoughts are with the family and the doctors today. I'm hoping there is a happy ending waiting to make its appearance.

Those commercials on the radio that plainly state, "Never ever shake a baby," can sometimes seem silly, but there are many out there that never get the simple message. There are people out there that lack common sense or restraint. Cherish your children and the children of everyone else. Remember that they are not adults and can't understand the silly demands we adults put on them. They laugh and they cry, sometimes for no apparent reason. And sometimes they cry for what seems like an eternity. Sometimes they just don't get what we're trying to tell them. They don't cooperate or take their naps when we really need them to because if they don't take that nap we might lose our minds. But they love unconditionally. They trust their caretakers. They are completely innocent and pure and nothing a child could ever do warrants any harm done unto them.

Please keep your thoughts with Caden's family and doctors. I don't know how this story ends. I don't know if there is yet to be a conclusion or if one came in the night. For the sake of little Caden, I hope this story is not yet over.

School is in Session

2011-01-04T07:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Anna and I enjoyed our first day of homeschool. I have been asked several times and the answer is no, I will not be homeschooling her for long. I don't feel like homeschooling a child indefinitely provides them with the best possible education. I am simply homeschooling Anna until she starts kindergarten in September of next year (with some part-time formal preschool soon if I have anything to say about it...and I do.) This coming up October we'll have to apply for her to get into the accelerated charter school here and I'd like her to have the best possible chance of getting in.

This week our theme is "Seasons." We started the week with an overview of all four seasons and colored four trees to coincide with each. We also practiced our ABC's and 123's before having a short session of physical education. We ended the day's lesson with a game matching photos of hot and cold objects to the words "HOT" or "COLD."

Practicing writing letters

At the end of every lesson, Anna will draw a picture in her journal of what she learned that day. Yesterday she drew herself standing next to a tree and a snowman (after having decided that winter is absolutely her favorite season.) The rest of the week we will devote one full lesson to each season. Today is "Winter Day."

Today also begins the neighborhood kid swap! My neighbor and I are trading off the kids for a few hours, four days a week, so she can get some things done around the house and I can go to college classes without having to pay a sitter or send Anna back to daycare. So with that said, it's time to go make breakfast for a couple of hungry mouths!

Hellooooooooo 2011!

2010-12-30T23:45:00.000-08:00

There are only mere hours left of 2010! That means it's time for all of us to start making and subsequently breaking our New Year's resolutions! No, no, I'm kidding. I mean to be much more encouraging this year, especially when I look in the mirror. I have plans to stick by my resolutions this time around, even if it kills me (and it probably will.) This year I plan to accomplish the following:

Lose 40 pounds by the beginning of summer and 60 pounds over the course of the year
Become 90% vegan by summer (I reserve the right to eat the occasional cheese or egg product!)
Begin homeschooling Anna with prepared preschool lessons each week
Save money. Any money. I don't care how much. I just want to save some.
Do something nice every day for someone.

Wednesday night I began a workout plan that has been tailored to my ridiculous schedule by a dear friend that apparently loves to bring people to their knees. And that's all well and good because I really need to be brought down to my knees until those knees are skinny and look good in a swimsuit. I asked her to write this workout plan for me because come Monday I am subjecting myself to the humiliation of being weighed by someone other than me. My employer is hosting a Biggest Loser challenge for its employees and in order to qualify for the cash prize we must be weighed in every Monday, in front of people, with the number being recorded for all of history!! The good news is I'm not only accountable to myself, but also to a team of participants that can only be winners if I'm a winner. And to be a winner I must be a loser and prove every Monday for 13 weeks that I am watching what I eat and exercising. I would do almost anything for money, so this is a good motivator. It's such a good motivator that I got through an entire visit to Red Lobster on Wednesday night without taking a single taste of the delicious, hot, buttery Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Oh yes, I am that serious.

What are your resolutions this year?

Where the bleep did 2010 go!?

2010-12-29T15:33:00.000-08:00

I swear I was just worrying about the summer heat yesterday and now I'm getting ready to say goodbye to 2010. How is that possible? I was so busy with everything this year that it passed me by before I could really stop and enjoy it. My precious Anna is a year older, I have another gray hair to contend with (no really, I do), and tax season is just around the corner.

I made a real effort to write out a resolution list this year. Every year I say, "I want to lose weight" and then I don't follow through. So I thought I should have a more thorough list this time around. I am still resolving to lose weight, but I've listing a few companions to that, including to go vegan by summer and get cardio workouts in every day.

On New Year's Day I'll post my entire list, but I'm starting up this blog thing again in an attempt to follow through on another resolution, something I haven't been doing enough of: staying in touch. I have a need to feel connected to my friends and family, especially those out of state, but my schedule doesn't always never accommodates that. So while I wish I could sit on the phone and chat about the weather or Anna's progress in gymnastics, it isn't realistic. Anything that takes longer than a 30 second status update or wall comment on Facebook just isn't happening. I'm even having a hard time keeping up with text messages lately.

So, this is the blog's re-debut. I've deleted all of the old posts and am just going to start fresh. That's what the end of one year and the beginning of another is all about anyway, right? I will commit to posting a new entry at least three days per week. I'll try to post more, but can't promise anything right now. Please feel free to comment on the entries if you'd like. It gives me something to read during my long hours at work and will help me feel the connection I am missing out on.

Until next time...